Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rest your head dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ira
    ASL Info:    21.f.ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 238/273/176
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 690
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1201



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRest your head dots
    -------------------------------------------


    There was a place, for a head,
    For a bed time lullaby walking through the streets,
    A gun in hand the heart beats beats beats,
    Blood stained roses a tainted melody,
    A processed meat rotten product of the creaks,
    A leak,
    A time frame a bitter sweat,
    A second flash a child’s hand,
    A everything it used to be.
    Meaning scorned and bottles broken,
    Torn jean shirts a better vespa.
    A parking space, an empty vase,
    An everything on display,
    There was a place a head for rest,
    A stolen watch a boring temperament,
    There was a place for everything,
    A stolen wedding, a burnt dress,
    There was a leak, a creak that ran,
    Burning flowers flames on red,
    Stains on window seals,
    And memories lost and rotten times,
    Stolen clocks and fucked up rhymes,
    Fucked up times in old day glides,
    Were sitting were sitting were heart beats on dry.
    Were crying, wear dining, the dreams left on mines.
    There was a place for a head, disembodied,
    Left for dead,
    There was a place, a rest , a vase,
    There was a place to rest your head.




    Submitted on 2008-04-22 01:34:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      How so beautifully schizophrenic and rhythmically dark and delicious. I really liked the imagery and the pace of the poem, I felt like I was snorting coke with Andy Warhol while watch Texas Chainsaw Masquer .....
    In other words I loved it,

    Thanks,
    Spin
    | Posted on 2008-04-22 00:00:00 | by Spin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    160534

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry