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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Vampiress - remade (new ending)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: girly101
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 266/224/127
    Words: 332
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 92
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2199



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVampiress - remade (new ending)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Vampiress

    Hide in the dark,
    Where no one can see,
    Hide behind shadows what shouldent be.
    Her life is wrong,
    A sad song,
    a pale girl,
    whose midnight stare,
    is hidden behind her pitch black hair.
    White lips that never smile.
    She lived threw her own exile.
    In the dark amongst her fears,
    Her eyes hold crimson tears.
    But she must stay,
    in the dark,
    far away.
    Where no one will find her.
    She can not sleep,
    so forever she is damned to weep

    The kiss of the Vampiress

    A tragic Shadow hides herself once more from the dawn
    So little time to be
    With blinded eyes
    They criticize
    Apart from all we see

    Enough of this, she screams
    And with one dark kiss
    Not on the lips
    To drink from the river of dreams

    Eternally undead
    Sleeps on no earthly bed
    Keeping sole council and caring not for what they said.

    Another one with time did come
    And though his sight was dim, and his spirit broken
    He saw right through the Shadow
    Caught her tears and heard her song though not a word was spoken.

    I tell you now before I plunge this knife into my heart
    When the wind spoke your name the darkness came
    My soul cried out, no longer wishing to depart

    For I would dwell forever in the black
    And I would take so many things back
    Trade my salvation for the state of elation
    Or live life a dead man in eternal damnation

    And he offered his blood
    Her mouth opened wide
    And she offered her tears
    As he started burning inside

    The transition was slow
    And gradually the pain did grow
    Till all he felt was the sting;
    A dark mysterious thing.

    Then it was done
    The evil had won
    Now for a dark eternity
    He had her stone cold heart.

    Never would they depart.






    Submitted on 2008-04-22 20:31:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Awesome, sicly freakin' awesome. I'd add some colour, you know crimson, gray skys, shyt like that. Substance whise though, it's nice. And flows real well, as though it was written with no, hesitance, and flowed from the pen. THough unlikely conidering the topic, a complimant either way. However, the criticisim, is it only seemed deep on top. didn't seem to have it underneath. You couldn't feel the characters, you only new their actions. niccely done
    | Posted on 2008-06-14 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]


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