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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: True Faithdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1197
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 417



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrue Faithdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Iím drowning in the world,
    Always ignored the holy word.
    Not like it had what I seeked anyway,
    All of lifeís strings coming to a fray.
    Iíve always been weak,
    Kept everything at a arms length.
    I donít need a saviorís title,
    Iíve stopped looking for an idol.
    I found my faith, it wasnít where I thought it would be,
    It was hidden deep inside of me.




    Submitted on 2004-02-07 00:23:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Mmmm. I loved it. To me it tasted like tangerines. Anyhoot. O.O I can honestly relate to this piece. I shall explain why.

    Iím drowning in the world,
    Always ignored the holy word.
    Not like it had what I seeked anyway,
    All of lifeís strings coming to a fray.

    Meh, I seem to be drowning in the vastness of this world as of late and I'm not even completely on my own yet. O.O "always ignored the holy word" I'm assuming this means that you don't really practice any religion, correct me if I'm wrong. I relate to this because I don't either. I believe in SOMETHING, just not necessarily "god" and all that.

    Iíve always been weak,
    Kept everything at a arms length.

    I don't know about being weak, but I've always kept a tough front. Everything? As in world, people, everything? I tend to be the same way, I've been trying to be better at that. And I'm probably taking your poem too literally. gomenasai, if that is the case.

    I donít need a saviorís title,
    Iíve stopped looking for an idol.

    I take this to mean that you don't want to be the biggest baddest "savior", and I don't really think that there are many/any idols out there.

    I found my faith, it wasnít where I thought it would be,
    It was hidden deep inside of me.

    I'd say that I'd have to agree with these two lines the most. Mostly because of the fact that you really only can count on yourself. -fin- Sorry this critique sux balls, I'll do another later or something. I really did like the poem though. Beautiful read/write. Peace and inspiration!

    Duv
    | Posted on 2008-03-09 00:00:00 | by Draumrkopa | [ Reply to This ]
      great exploritory poem leading inside yourself, wonderful subject, I agree with Kblyric about the first person but either way this is a goodwrite
    | Posted on 2004-02-07 00:00:00 | by brokenbatman | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nicely wrought, and a great message; your voice here is very honest, simple and down to earth. Then the last two lines state your message,and it rings with conviction as you have been so straigtforward from line 1. Nice work. Silver
    | Posted on 2004-02-07 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the message you are conveying. There is a great power in finding faith within oneself. I don't always agree with the idea of leaving the first person out of a poem, but I think in this instance it might be interesting and there are a couple of words that could be trimmed out without taking away from the meaning....

    Drowning in the world
    Ignored the holy word
    Didn't have what I sought anyway
    All of life's strings coming to a fray
    Always been weak
    Kept everything at arms length
    Don't need a saviour's title
    Stopped looking for an idol
    found my faith, not where I thought it would be
    But hidden deep inside of me

    Who knows. Just a thought.
    | Posted on 2004-02-07 00:00:00 | by kblyric | [ Reply to This ]


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