Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Summer Simplicitydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: The Conqueror
    ASL Info:    21/female/Missouri
    Elite Ratio:    3.48 - 178/204/42
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 995
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 531



    Description:
       I don't have a clue where this came from, it just kind of popped into my head. It's not my usual sort of writing, and I realize it needs a lot of work, but what the hey!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSummer Simplicitydots
    -------------------------------------------


    A slow, luxurious summer day
    Languidly draped across
    the sluggish hum of a small town
    A girl, perched on a rusty swing set,
    Lazily dragging red painted toes
    Through the tired dust,
    a sunburn crawling up bare knees
    A brunette head, rested against
    The chains of the swing-
    Pondering all of life’s questions
    And humming a song that marches in time
    With the scarce breezes
    And determined ants
    searching for unattended picnics




    Submitted on 2008-04-23 16:00:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I can remember playing on the swing for many a happy hour when I was a little boy, daydreaming, with no cares, as the world went by

    How I would love to have those times once again.

    And yes, you are right......it DOES need a lot of work !!!! he he

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2008-09-15 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      Highly visual and wondefully evocative poem! Splendid, excellent! I absolutely loved it, loved it! bravo... bravo... bravo...
    | Posted on 2008-04-29 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, good imagery right down to the ants.
    I like it, I think its a good write.

    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2008-04-24 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]
      hi, very good, a delightful place to rest, send it to the New Yorker rag. poe
    | Posted on 2008-04-24 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
      Ha! This is delightful! Anyone who has swung on an old country swing will relate to this! It presents strong word pictures, and is just delightful to read, especially to an old country boy like me!!
    | Posted on 2008-04-23 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    160611

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry