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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dont cry my angeldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: girly101
    Elite Ratio:    3.92 - 264/224/127
    Words: 195
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 85
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1310



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDont cry my angeldots
    -------------------------------------------


    This otherworldy bond,
    Sisterhood only the start.
    This poor sweet girl,
    Who came and stole my heart.

    Her silly smiles,
    And overwhelming tears.
    Her goofy laugh,
    And soul tearing fears.

    Pain stricken angel,
    Wont you share your hurt with me?
    Sparkeling goddess,
    Wont fate just let you be?

    My love,
    please dont cry.
    For you id bleed my life away,
    For you id proudly die.

    Darling of the earth,
    Bringer of my smile.
    Sit upon my lap,
    And let us talk awhile.

    We dont need to run anymore,
    From unspoken monsters.
    Away from us our souls were tore,
    Let us try and rest now.

    Smile for me baby,
    Laugh out loud.
    Help the sun to show,
    You can move that lingering cloud.

    Let us walk down the path,
    Careless and free.
    Dont stop to do the math,
    Cause honey its only you and me.

    Im here for you,
    When everyone turns.
    Im here for you,
    When your lonely heart yearns.

    Ill stay through the sad,
    And try to make it better.
    If I make you mad,
    Just laugh at me 'cause you no I love you.




    Submitted on 2008-04-24 10:05:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I have to say, I love the opening of this poem. Well the whole thing actually but the opening is actually like opening a door and looking into a piece of the writer's mind.

    What starts out as a friendship blossoms into something much more meaningful and is foreshadowed by the very first line "This otherworldy bond". Immediately I was compelled to wonder what that indicated.

    The next 3 stanzas build on feelings and deep emotions that are shared, and actual love is kindled.

    The next one is my favorite

    "Darling of the earth,
    Bringer of my smile.
    Sit upon my lap,
    And let us sit awhile."

    Darling of the earth is such a great choice of words. I would have changed the second usage of the word sit from "And let us sit awhile" to something like bask, or watch, or possibly say look across the miles depending if any of that would fit the context of what you are trying to portray.

    The rest of it made me feel the affection you have for this person and (sorry to use the term) had a soulmate seeking quality to it.
    It is filled with compassion, and caring, and something more that I cannot fully interpret cause it is clearly very personal as well.
    In the end, I can honestly say it struck a chord with me because I have had similar feelings.
    Nice Job :)
    | Posted on 2008-04-24 00:00:00 | by Immortalis | [ Reply to This ]
      Love it. This has got to be one of the best I've read in a while. It was a very well spoken poem. It is obvious that you care about this person a lot whoever they are. They are lucky to have someone like you.
    | Posted on 2008-04-24 00:00:00 | by BeautifulSoul | [ Reply to This ]


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