A not so merry Spring by Aangskate

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Submission Name: A not so merry Spring dots

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Author:	Aangskate
ASL Info:	15/female/lame
Elite Ratio:	2.76 - 93/81/21
Words:	126

Class/Type:	Poetry/Comedy
Total Views:	124
Average Vote:	4.0000
Bytes:	765

Description:
Just a funny little poem I put together. Im counting the days till summer! :)

A not so merry Spring dots

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The birds fly overhead,
in the distance a truck is heard.
The sky is blue,
and there are flowers anew.
Can you hear it?
Can you see it?
Spring is here!
So leap and hollar and let out a cheer!
But wait, why is there still a gloomy face?
A school girl with red ribbon lace.
While the others frolick and make merry,
she sits there, in the library.
For she is still waiting for signs of summer,
when school books are set aside and theres more time for slumber.
When the sun is bright,
and there are many stars at night,
shes waiting to hear the last ringing bells,
and the end of bus tolls.
So long spring! Here comes summer!

Submitted on 2008-04-24 19:51:30 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I think this poem contained great imagery, was quite impressed with that.
However, I do feel you need to work on the structure, as it didn't scan that well and the rhyming was poor in places (e.g. "merry" and "library").
Overall though, I did quite like this. Keep up the good work!
| Posted on 2008-10-11 00:00:00 | by alexboy | [ Reply to This ]
  Very nice I like the flow It almost make me like life and all it give
almost but besides that It was good and it gave a good view of what you where saying
I like It it's going on my favs.

[ LATER ]
| Posted on 2008-05-13 00:00:00 | by shadow of death | [ Reply to This ]
  wow this is so good. i love the happy feeling you get off of this. It definetly cheered me up. I prefer Fall and Winter though ^_^, but i love the beauty of Spring and Summer.

Good job, i also loved your rythms

Cry
| Posted on 2008-04-26 00:00:00 | by WhY-dO-yOu-CrY | [ Reply to This ]
  This a perfect precurser for summer as seen by an expectant student! Wonderful and most ably done here.... loved it a ton... bravo... bravo... bravo...
| Posted on 2008-04-25 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
  I loved it! Your a talented writer. I do have one question though, how come the girl is waiting for summer?
P.S It kinda reminds me of someone I know from school, except its a boy not a girl like in the poem. :)
| Posted on 2008-04-24 00:00:00 | by Coripa | [ Reply to This ]
   I always like your work Harriet. *pokes*
| Posted on 2008-04-24 00:00:00 | by Aion Kiori | [ Reply to This ]

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