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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Poet to Poetdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vancrown
    Elite Ratio:    6.34 - 972/1096/164
    Words: 204
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 215
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1491



    Description:
       Just because . . .


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPoet to Poetdots
    -------------------------------------------


    .

    We trod a lonely road
    witch-shadows strewn on mud-cracked soil
    mingled in sunlight and darkling beams

    Why bother asking after reasons?

    A yellow room, drapery roiling
    through the open window to blossom-
    scented breezes, these and other things—

    Return this promise of you and me.

    And yet, we’re always just out of reach
    like spring grass gripped tight in winter’s grasp
    fingers clasping swans of silver ice

    That melt into one ten-fingered hand.

    Languidly withdrawn, until I knew
    roaming far beyond, yet here and gone
    that all along it was you, just you—

    That glued my blues to your violets.

    And if we trample our haloes to . . .
    dust, shatter these wizard wands, let our
    swords crumble to nothing more than rust

    We were radiant once; it’s enough.

    We will linger on, pale stars at dawn
    raindrops sliding down our upturned cheeks
    warrior-poet, fallen goddess—

    All steel-plated breasts and ghostly kisses.


    04/29/2007 M. Andre Vancrown




    Submitted on 2008-04-24 22:20:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The title, "Poet to Poet" has me reading this as though written by a poet to another. Is it a strong bond to poetry that ties them together, or something more? I never really answered my own question. That's a good thing. It could be either. Two poets or lovers sparkle in Love's light or under the writing lamp, and if they should lose this glitter, then that's all right, they had their moment.

    If there is one soft spot in this poem it is S4 "languidly withdrawn" ... "just you -". This is saved by the oncoming line "That glued my blues to your violets." Perhaps S4 needs more depth "Laguidly withdrawn until I knew it was you" is about all that it says. What were you feeling at the time? How did you view the world? Something more than, "just you."

    Apart from that this is highly creative, formatted well, inspirational, and just plain beautiful. My favorite part is S3 "And yet we're always out of reach.....silver swan" The comparison to frozen grass and an icy swan is magic.

    So the questions remain, is this about poetry, love, love of poetry, or something else. It is in fact about all those things, or so I want to believe. Brilliant.

    Phil
    | Posted on 2008-04-28 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey mike yer back. great to read your stuff again. This poem gave me a contemplative sadness. life is filled with so much potential, and fleeting feelings and experiences that we cant physically embrace, but can if we transcend. That made it inspiring, too.

    I miss you.



    | Posted on 2008-04-25 00:00:00 | by screams | [ Reply to This ]
      it's good to have you back comrade. and you make this place shine with this work.
    6
    | Posted on 2008-04-24 00:00:00 | by fryte | [ Reply to This ]



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