they had sex and here i was,
with no connections, none of my relations,
really caring or comforting,
all the time insulting,
slandering, how worthless I was....
most of my life, I had been a burden,
left to live in corners of the house,
here i was, then useless and forever worthless,
repeatedly bashed, shamed and shunned,
worried and wondered how I am ever going to pay them back...
after all, I was their product,
a son bought in to this earth,
due act of their lust,
with no thought of effect,
I was born, not to their expectations...
ugly and dull,
dumb and mangled,
here i was, with no future written all over my head
a dad to ever remind me that i am loser from birth,
a brother to kick me & say i am never going to be any better,
a mother to always make use of me and never really care about me....
here i was, pissed,
with fist raised at anyone who dared cross my path,
bloody noses, terrible pains that I would inflict,
i can punch and punch harder,
no excuse needed, I just had to release the hate...
I did it without any realm of consequence...
got good hours of detentions,
kneeling on the floor for punishments,
wrath of tutors bought home another series of punishments and untold humiliation
ruthless explanation of my worthlessness
from those who brought me to live on this planet
and here i was, thinking how i will repay them...
ever growing restless,
set a target to accomplish,
no longer shall i be deemed worthless,
one by one all of the targets were,
with in my reach
i felt nothing changed, I am as I was,
useless and looked down,
now I realized, I had to repay
and they will pay for the very fact that I was born
nothing and no one shall stand in my way,
i am the hell that they will serve,
misery that they cannot escape,
future, their every hope will be squashed,
vengeance will be all in all served well and cold
no love, no pleasure, no comfort,
no one to say anything good,
nothing to stop,
everything to lose,
they will know what it was to me,
to be their son