My knife and Me by sweet-fire

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Submission Name: My knife and Me dots

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Author:	sweet-fire
ASL Info:	21/f/ky
Elite Ratio:	3.8 - 296/279/42
Words:	89

Class/Type:	Poetry/Death
Total Views:	45
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	558

Description:
i love my knife...is better than a man any day of the week.
p.s.-going through a divorce right now.

My knife and Me dots

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I take this knife,
Forever to hold.
It is my friend-
My heart, my soul.

When i get down,
Or i get depressed-
I pull it out,and
Hold it to my chest.

My blood pounds,
Inside of my head.
I caress it gently,
And sit on my bed.

It kisses the veins,
That lay in my wrists.
I slowly lean back,
And unclench my fists.

Till death do us part,
My knife and me.
When my life ends,
This is how it will be.

Submitted on 2008-04-25 09:38:43 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  oppps, sorry, clicked it twice.

~*~katara~*~
| Posted on 2008-05-15 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]
  Simple, but very powerful. I like this a lot. I love the last stanza,

"Till death do us part,
My knife and me.
When my life ends,
This is how it will be."

Comparing your knife to a lover or companion. But yet, few people understand that at times, it seems like that is all you have in the world, just you and your knife.

"Till death do us part,"

I love that line.

Nice Write
~*~katara~*~
| Posted on 2008-05-15 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]
  Simple, but very powerful. I like this a lot. I love the last stanza,

"Till death do us part,
My knife and me.
When my life ends,
This is how it will be."

Comparing your knife to a lover or companion. But yet, few people understand that at times, it seems like that is all you have in the world, just you and your knife.

"Till death do us part,"

I love that line.

Nice Write
~*~katara~*~
| Posted on 2008-05-15 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]
  This was a simple basic poem, but I liked the way it sounded. It wasn't so deep you had to spend an hour to analyze, but it wasn't just a two sentence poem either. I enjoyed the simple rhyming technique you used, but I didn't like the second paragraph too well.

When i get down,
Or i get depressed-
I pull it out,and
Hold it to my chest.

I felt the second and fourth lines were really well written, but I think the fiorst and third need a little something added to them or just changes completely because it kinda throws off the entire feel of that stanza.

I realize that only the second and fourth of every stanza rhymed, but I feel maybe you could change the first and third of paragraph two somehow without it rhyming.

Overall I really enjoyed this poem and I loved the relationship between you and your knife because although it is what could kill you, it is you to choise when to allow that and make that happen.

I liked it a lot.

Good Job.
| Posted on 2008-04-25 00:00:00 | by BeautifulSoul | [ Reply to This ]

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