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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: monstersdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: biska
    Elite Ratio:    6.38 - 71/40/23
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 173
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 394



    Description:
       one of my heart-people forgot himself for a number of years.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmonstersdots
    -------------------------------------------


    now creases line your face,
    where once smiles wrinkled
    and endeared you to me
    in every conversation.

    now words light, meaningless.
    all is slow motion
    as i look to find You;
    the heart-one that i remember.

    now patient, to soothe
    your stranger version.
    i hold your memory
    for You to come find Me. again.




    Submitted on 2008-04-26 06:46:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      people do lose themselves, that essence which made them them, and it's troubling when it happens to close friends you haven't seen in years. but that heartache becomes etched and more defined throughout the years until one either gives up or perseveres and rises above it all to conquer this grief.

    i have been both people, wavering, fighting, and wondering why and what if and who cares and i must try.

    as we all do.

    the thoughts behind this are sadly all too real and all-encompassing for everyone.

    there is great heart in your writing too, something which i always look for on a deeper level.

    merci.
    | Posted on 2008-08-23 00:00:00 | by discombobulated | [ Reply to This ]
      I honestly think that anyone who has lost someone they love in one way or another can identify with this. I personally lost my best friend to drugs, not that he's dead physically, only mentally. The last part really hit home the hardest, that's what I've been doing for the last six years now. Well written and a solid reminder to not give up on the ones that are lost and need our help. Thank you for writing this piece. Have a wonderful day.

    Nick
    | Posted on 2008-07-23 00:00:00 | by Nicholas Lala | [ Reply to This ]
      I can see this as any of the following:
    - Losing someone via mental illness (that is, the illness has changed them so much that they are no longer what they were when you met them.
    - Someone you hold close changing over time until they're someone else.
    - Having someone who once was happy suddenly become unhappy and empty, which is a sad thing to see.
    - Love lost.

    I don't know for sure, but I get the sense of longing.
    If it was remotely about any of those subjects, then great job.
    If not, then still this poem is pleasant.
    I like this line, "and endeared you to me" even though it's not particularly special, in context (and what I feel when reading this) this line resonates most with me.

    And the last line, I think the "again" at the very end is very well done.
    | Posted on 2008-06-22 00:00:00 | by Sir Jimeth | [ Reply to This ]
      This is sad, but very meaningful. The moving hand, having writ ............!

    Things change, and people change; your deft poem adresses this with such compassion and care. Excellent work!
    | Posted on 2008-06-06 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      you changed this...

    'heart-people' - (this is great by the way).

    I read this earlier, and it reminded me of my ex-husband. He suffered horribly from depression, though I didn't know it when I met him.

    And somewhere along the way he dissapeared.

    I suppose the cross I bear, is that I couldn't wait anymore for him to come back.

    no matter how I tried... I couldn't eat his sorrow.

    ----------------------------
    though upon reading this...again (seems I always find my own way into peoples work first time around) it seems about alzheimers.
    I have never experienced it first hand. But I know many people who have. (yet I could be on the wrong path here again) (I am a strange one).

    A lady I worked with said her mom was so much nicer to her (though she didn't recognize her as her daughter). I imagine it to be a hard thing to love someone who is no longer the same person that you knew, but you love them anyway (knowing the circumstances), perhaps holding on to the memory of who they once were and who they were/are to you.
    | Posted on 2008-04-26 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]


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