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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ramble At The Lakeshoredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: darkened_soul
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 812/868/171
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 828
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1072



    Description:
       I wrote this on the 22nd. I was just trying to find a way to express my views on love. This was kind of written for my ex boyfriend, Marty.

    I'd like any suggestions. If you read a line and think it would sound better another way, please let me know. I'm not a very good writer anymore, and I'd love all feedback!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRamble At The Lakeshoredots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's not just a feeling, or emotion
    It's also a physical expression.
    Others will see it, a new you
    A stronger, more joyful, impression.

    It's like finding the person,
    Who always brings out the best in you
    Always makes you smile, laugh
    Never leaves you feeling blue.

    It's not that "fake" happy,
    "Everything's great" but it's not, true
    You'll still feel pain, hurt,
    But you'll deal better than you used to,

    It feels as though this person
    Has all the scattered pieces of your heart
    Like, they knew, they had a feeling,
    And collected them from the start.

    Only with them do you feel whole
    Finally, you truly belong
    They'll help you up, when you fall down
    Always keep you feeling strong.

    You can see the world in their eyes
    Without them, things seem bland
    A soulmate, a friend, a lover,
    And always a helping hand.




    Submitted on 2008-04-26 07:42:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I thought everything sounded great. I didn't quite get how you your title relates, but I really enjoyed it.
    Love and Peace,
    Christie
    | Posted on 2008-04-27 00:00:00 | by lynn7 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    160740

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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