Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: If I am Your Sundots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BeautifulSoul
    ASL Info:    17/F/In
    Elite Ratio:    7.71 - 52/22/16
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 85
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 566



    Description:
       To my friend, Jay, who once wrote a poem about how I was his sun and he my flower. This is mine back to you.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIf I am Your Sundots
    -------------------------------------------


    If I am your sun,
    and you my flower,
    then you are why I shine,
    upon every waking hour.
    Only ceasing during those hours of sleep,
    when dreams of you are so meaningful and deep.
    If I am your sun,
    and you my flower,
    then you are my muse,
    that ignites my fuse,
    so at the very end of night,
    I can return to the sky to shine for you so bright.
    If I am your sun,
    and you my flower,
    then you are the reason I strive for dawn,
    so in the dark you need to no longer cower.




    Submitted on 2008-04-29 13:57:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a light and meaningful write! Those significant others truly are the "sunshine" in our lives!

    Since it is on the same theme, you might enjoy reading my poem " A Day Without Sunshine" at my site. It is an older post, so you would have to scroll down to find it!

    Excellent write, lovely lady!
    | Posted on 2008-05-05 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Suggestion: Could you make...

    Only ceasing during those hours of sleep,

    Only ceasing through those hours of sleep,

    I think this piece is beautiful; it really gives meaning to the dilapitating word...love. I like it, and I hope to see more writings like this. Beautiful, inspiring, and quaint. Great work!
    | Posted on 2008-05-01 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    160862



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry