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    dots Submission Name: (Happy) Smiles dots

    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 421
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 579
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 933


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots(Happy) Smiles dots

    The frequent visits told me so;
    The lamented smell of sun and snow:
    the trees the grass
    the rain the sleet

    Her eyes spoke puppies and faeries too;
    Of death and life, and what's left to do:
    skydiving world wonders
    tango lessons blackberry pies

    Her smile faded, yet not till the end;
    Her muscles gave out, she could no longer pretend:
    I.V.'s hospital smells
    therapy the horizontal line of the
    machine above her bed
    . . .
    . . . . ...................................
    . . .

    Submitted on 2008-05-01 20:55:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      1. I dont know "and faeries too"
    is this right?

    2. I got the poem a little slow. Beautiful touch.

    3. Make the pointer go like this naa

    . . .
    . . . . ................................................
    . .

    It looks more like an heart beat

    4. I thought it was just another happy crap poem but hey i did a mistake of underestimating by just considering the topic cause it is a little irrelevent to what you are really trying to express.
    If sadism is your theme then specify in the description.

    Other than that great work of art.
    | Posted on 2008-05-03 00:00:00 | by keestu | [ Reply to This ]
      amongst a site where i hardly find anything to read, this is refreshing- pure poetry, i can't read this thing just once-- even if i did where would the justice been then?
    | Posted on 2008-05-02 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww, this is so sad. I really hope this is just something you wrote. I would hate to have to go through the loss of a loved one. I love how you started out talking about happy things, instead of how horrible death is and how bad the hospital smells, and how the white walls drive you crazy or something. Excellent write.

    | Posted on 2008-05-02 00:00:00 | by Aethyx | [ Reply to This ]

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