Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: (Happy) Smiles dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 421
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 587
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 933



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots(Happy) Smiles dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The frequent visits told me so;
    The lamented smell of sun and snow:
    the trees the grass
    the rain the sleet

    Her eyes spoke puppies and faeries too;
    Of death and life, and what's left to do:
    skydiving world wonders
    tango lessons blackberry pies

    Her smile faded, yet not till the end;
    Her muscles gave out, she could no longer pretend:
    I.V.'s hospital smells
    therapy the horizontal line of the
    machine above her bed
    . . .
    . . . . ...................................
    . . .




    Submitted on 2008-05-01 20:55:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      1. I dont know "and faeries too"
    is this right?

    2. I got the poem a little slow. Beautiful touch.

    3. Make the pointer go like this naa

    . . .
    . . . . ................................................
    . .

    It looks more like an heart beat

    4. I thought it was just another happy crap poem but hey i did a mistake of underestimating by just considering the topic cause it is a little irrelevent to what you are really trying to express.
    If sadism is your theme then specify in the description.

    Other than that great work of art.
    | Posted on 2008-05-03 00:00:00 | by keestu | [ Reply to This ]
      amongst a site where i hardly find anything to read, this is refreshing- pure poetry, i can't read this thing just once-- even if i did where would the justice been then?
    | Posted on 2008-05-02 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww, this is so sad. I really hope this is just something you wrote. I would hate to have to go through the loss of a loved one. I love how you started out talking about happy things, instead of how horrible death is and how bad the hospital smells, and how the white walls drive you crazy or something. Excellent write.

    Anna
    | Posted on 2008-05-02 00:00:00 | by Aethyx | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    160949

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    This written by Chelebel
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Linger written by saartha
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Push written by JanePlane
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To written by SavedDragon
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    untitled written by Chelebel
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry