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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Estrangeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: GhiHaD
    ASL Info:    22/Male/Australia
    Elite Ratio:    2.84 - 46/64/24
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1086
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 290



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEstrangeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lust is an unspoken word
    Desire is that which is absurd
    Hope, feelings of despair
    Dead eyes, empty stare

    Eyes that swirl blue of sea
    Aspire to be all we can be
    Faith as pure as morning dew
    Everythings possible when i'm with you




    Submitted on 2004-07-01 20:33:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The name belies the poem, why did you do it... Now I don't know which to criticise, for the name is faultless and the poem good, but they just cannot stand each other's company! Maybe you're the schizophrenic...?
    | Posted on 2004-07-02 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good write and i think this piece can have much more poetenital if made longer, anyways i like this, very true, great write
    | Posted on 2004-07-01 00:00:00 | by JGo | [ Reply to This ]
      You should lengthen this a bit. I'm sure you could include more detail and description. You kind of jumped ahed in the poem like poetryqueen said. aybe incuding a stanza in between wouldhel the reader understand...Good start
    | Posted on 2004-07-01 00:00:00 | by Emmalee | [ Reply to This ]
      You should lengthen this a bit. I'm sure you could include more detail and description. You kind of jumped ahed in the poem like poetryqueen said. aybe incuding a stanza in between wouldhel the reader understand...Good start
    | Posted on 2004-07-01 00:00:00 | by Emmalee | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm interesting even though i dont see the link... between the first and second stanza am i missing it? i dont understand how you can have hope and dead eyes then go into swirls of blue and aspiring... can you explain i am sooo lost
    | Posted on 2004-07-01 00:00:00 | by PoetryQueen | [ Reply to This ]


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