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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Yoursdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: girly101
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 292/310/149
    Words: 230
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1058
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1354



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYoursdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am yours for all eternity,
    Even if you decide you donít want me.
    A piece of my soul will reside within you,
    Lingering on,
    Long after im gone.
    Youíre the reason for the sun,
    The reason that it sets each night.
    -Just so we can hold each other tight.
    Youíre the reason for the sun,
    The reason it breaks the sky,
    -So that itís each other that we wake by.
    I can say that I love you more than anyone,
    Or anything and everything.
    More than myself by far,
    And no one can ever change that.
    My view on you is pristine,
    It is unfaltering,
    And even if you were to say to me tomorrow,
    That you never wish to speak to me again
    I would still drench you with more love
    Than a heart can encase.
    It may break me,
    Though im not even sure you can break the already broken.
    What I am saying to you my dear, dear angel,
    Is that you mean infinite emotions to me.
    Eternal care,
    Immortal comfort.
    I will give you all I can offer,
    And I will do so with great happiness.
    You are my life.
    All I want to have,
    All that I was born for.
    I was born to hear your voice,
    To dry your tears,
    To understand your anger and fears.
    I am yours.




    Submitted on 2008-05-05 20:43:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      OMG OMG this is the second poem of yours that i have read of yours Girly101 and i do have to say that i feel you have such a beautiful way of delivering such loving emotions this piece here is also going onto my Favs List wow i love the way you write and man oh man i wish my heart could find someone to write such beautiful loving words to me your man must be so proud and blessed

    Timmy S. Edgar
    | Posted on 2008-11-01 00:00:00 | by Timmy S. Edgar | [ Reply to This ]
      You can't hear it but I'm stuttering. Okay, hopefult my thoughts are gathered enough.

    This beautiful work of set is so drenched with every hopeful, needing, loving, anticipation feeling you could possibly feel. You nailed this on one the head. This is what love feels like.

    This is by far my favorite piece I've read in a good long while.

    I loved it! :)
    | Posted on 2008-06-15 00:00:00 | by Celeste J. Bell | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. i need to go lie down after that one, qute impressive, i usually don't like to break away from fully rhyme pices but is is rather good. Your descriptions, are very.... welll, i would've swore you were talking to me for a second (hahaha)which definitely should be the intended feeling.
    I think i wihave to give this one a 9 out a 10
    luv it

    AETLP/TC

    | Posted on 2008-05-06 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      Sometimes there are poems that are so pure, so raw and unchained in their expression of emotions that they transcend the need for form or structure. I believe that this is such a poem. This one calls to the most primal roots of human feeling, and gives almost physical substance the the written word. The subject of this piece is lucky indeed to receive such a powerful message. This is one of the rare ones that makes me want to cast aside all the rules and conventions and simply feel it for what it is. I can't remember the last time I read something that made me feel that way.

    Immortalis
    | Posted on 2008-05-06 00:00:00 | by Immortalis | [ Reply to This ]
      Merry Meet Girly

    Wow. Let me begin by saying that I could definately feel your emotions through your poem. That in itself is awesome and I think the goal of any poet. May I be so bold as to say that you need a hobby. As for the poem itself, it needs a little work. The poem in and of itself is very powerful. The things to look at is proper punctuation. The next, not every line needs to start with a capital. You did that with out fail but forgot little capitilizations in the middle of lines. Last, spelling. I drill this into the teens I work with. They hate me for it. Keep writing! You are a powerful writer!
    Blessed Be Andie
    | Posted on 2008-05-06 00:00:00 | by magickandie | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    161075

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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