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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love's Inquisitiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Madelaine
    ASL Info:    18/F/USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.58 - 52/16/7
    Words: 228
    Class/Type: Prose/Dark
    Total Views: 744
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1366



    Description:
       I was in a strange mood this morning, it seems.
    Do you know, Love?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove's Inquisitiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Look at yourself in the mirror today.What do you see?
    I will tell you what I see.
    I see a young romantic, preparing for the trip of a lifetime.
    I'm going to take that trip, Love.
    You should too.

    What do you see in the mirror today?
    Are you satisfied?
    Does the knowledge that you have failed sink into you, and crumble your perfect features?
    Or does a genuine smile split your lips?
    Do you glow with it?
    I am glowing, Love.
    I am as bright as those lightening bugs outside your window. Unlock it and let them in, Love.
    Feel the beating of their wings like you felt my heartbeat against your fingertips.

    Are you ready to let me go, Love?
    Whatever will you do when I fly away?
    Will you cower in the shadows like the lost child you once were?
    Are you still a child, Love?

    Do you know, Love? Do you, Love?
    Don't cry, Love. It's only forever. That's not really such a long time, when you think about it.
    You won't forget about me, will you, Love?

    Don't scream, Love. They will come for you soon.
    Won't they, Love?

    Shhh. I loved you too much. I am so sorry. Do you forgive me, Love?
    Nevermind, it's too late. Goodnight, Love.




    Submitted on 2008-05-06 09:00:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the premise of the poem, asking the reader questions and trying to get'em to think about if you were their lover, how would they handle the situation. Would they let you leave? Or would they chase you down, and make you see. I really enjoyed it. I am pretty sure I understood most of it. Some of it could use some more imagery or metaphors to make the poem pop. Think of some abstract word that might help the poem be more exciting.
    Otherwise great job!
    ~Shawn
    | Posted on 2008-05-14 00:00:00 | by Strator | [ Reply to This ]
      well, i understood it completely. lovely work, love...
    merlo
    | Posted on 2008-05-08 00:00:00 | by blackbird | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely poem. I don't understand a lot about it. I don't know, I just need to mature a lot I think. But, I enjoyed reading it! Good job.
    Angel
    | Posted on 2008-05-06 00:00:00 | by bubble_popper15 | [ Reply to This ]
      Parting is such sweet sorrow, they say! I like the title to this, and it reflects some of the off key feelings one sometimes has about romance! It is unusual, but articulately written! Nice work, lovely lady!
    | Posted on 2008-05-06 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


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