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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Something in the way She...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Imadjinn
    ASL Info:    17/M/Neverwhere
    Elite Ratio:    4.27 - 340/348/146
    Words: 585
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 793
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3225



    Description:
       This and more at 365 tomorrows


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSomething in the way She...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Jerry and I stood in the locked room looking through a large window at the woman in the hospital bed. The door next to the window led into the room, it had a green light over it showing it was unlocked.
    “I’m not going in there”, Jerry said. “Becka’s gone! That’s not her in there; I buried her 6 months ago”.
    “I know. I was with you at the hospital after the accident” I said.
    “Screw this Ken” he was shaking; seeing the clone with Becka’s face lying on the bed in the lab’s hospital ward was pushing him to the edge.
    The accident had been horrible. Jerry still had terrible scars but with Becka gone he didn’t care.
    “Call security so they can let me the hell out of here” he was starting to get really angry. Getting into or out of this part of the lab complex was difficult and required a lot of security access that Jerry no longer had. He hadn’t been able to work in 6 months but I had to bring him in today because we were going to wake her. Jerry started pacing back and forth in front of the window staring at the Becka clone.
    She was cutting edge science. She was literally a perfect physical copy of Becka and her mind was everything we could salvage before she’d died.
    “Please Jerry”, I begged, “A lot of people, a lot of your friends, went to a lot of trouble, for you. Please at least wait until she wakes up”.
    He stopped pacing and turned to look at me. His face was red and he was shaking. He turned back to the window and started pacing again.
    I looked at the security camera in the corner and shrugged. We waited, no one came. “I’ll go find out what’s keeping security” I said and badged myself through the opposite door.
    One more door and I was in the observation room. Johansen stood there with his expensive suit and slick hair staring at the monitors and speaking softly to the techs. I’d made a deal with this particular Devil to make this happen for my best friend.
    “How come…” I started to say.
    “It’s waking up” Johansen said, cutting me off. Everyone looked at the monitors.
    The Becka clone opened her eyes and slowly looked around. She couldn’t see through the large window, it was tinted glass on her side.
    Jerry stopped pacing.
    She sat up.
    Jerry leaned close to the glass. There was still tension in his face.
    She put her face in her hands and rubbed her eyes the way she always did when the lights were too bright.
    Jerry stood with his hands on the glass. His head slowly shook back and forth but the tension was gone.
    Becka stretched her neck and flicked back her hair. I’d seen her do it a thousand times.
    Jerry’s hands fell slowly to his side, his mouth was open. He moved to the door and turned the knob.
    “Jerry?”, she said, head still in her hands.
    “Becka?” he said softly.
    “Oh honey, I had the worst dream” she said and raised her head. He stopped at the bed and sat down; she started to cry when she saw his sad scarred face. She pulled him to her breast and wrapped her arms around him and held him while he cried.
    “We’re going make a fortune”, Johansen said.
    “Ya”, I said wiping my cheek. “probably”.




    Submitted on 2008-05-06 20:22:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It always comes down to money for some... such a sad state that is.
    What I do like here is that you still leave a human element before that thought. Where for some it is about the being that becomes again. Cloning is an interesting subject and one that borders the ethical (at least for me). To be honest, I am really not sure how I feel about it, except that I don't believe that a person can actually be replicated (somehow I just can't wrap my mind around that yet)... Anyway, I could go on a whole tangent, but I won't. Let's just say it gives me something to ponder for a bit.
    | Posted on 2008-08-19 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]
      I love your writings. This was really good. I was absorbed in it the whole time. Two of my friends were about to fight while I was reading it, and I didn't pay them a bit of attention.

    I can't find anything wrong with it. It was well thought out and had enough imagery in it to make a movie. The only thing I can think of is the word "badged". Maybe I just don't know what it is, but I think maybe that was misspelled.

    Other than that, I think there is nothing wrong with it. I can't wait to read the next part.

    Nice Write
    ~*~katara~*~
    | Posted on 2008-05-08 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]


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