Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fluid And Spitedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Razor2TheRosary
    ASL Info:    24 - f - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 238/127/51
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1045
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 872



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFluid And Spitedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Suffocation is a rough form of flattery,
    only perversely sincere when you smother me.
    Diagnosed comatose is my ghost in your hand
    while asphyxiation goes according to plan.

    Depraved I am, but so are you.
    Choke me until my lips turn blue.

    Masochism has an abominable flair,
    malevolently tangling the chains we wear,
    sawing through a skeleton of what used to be
    covered in flesh, and tonight, the casket is free.

    Idle I am, but so are you.
    Motionless lungs obstruct my view.

    Covered in dust are the shovels in your moonlight.
    What used to glitter is filled with fluid and spite.
    Irrationality rapes forgivable sins,
    curing insomnia when destruction begins.

    Silent I am, and so are you,
    but homicide is nothing new.




    Submitted on 2008-05-07 03:39:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Again...

    At this point in time, I should just be able to write that and then you get what I'm saying. Because to continuously tell you the perfect wording in the perfect subject from the perfect writer for it has to get old after awhile.

    You write so tight with lines that roll you thru the story, keep you hanging until the end and leave you breathless for whatever reasons (be it because of familiarity or just plain awed by your skill).

    My favorite line, your first:
    "Suffocation is a rough form of flattery"
    All your lines have weight with me - this one just is so, oh what can I say...PERFECT

    EXCELLENT write
    | Posted on 2008-05-17 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oooooh this is cuuuute. lol not the comment you were expecting huh, yeah I strive to be different like everyone else who who wants to be different from everyone...else??? Umm yeah...so anyways nice piece. I gotta go I'm weirding myself out.

    Spending my life savings on a psychiatrist,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2008-05-11 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    161153

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Incubus written by monad
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    This written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry