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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fluid And Spitedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Razor2TheRosary
    ASL Info:    24 - f - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 238/127/51
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 987
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 872



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFluid And Spitedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Suffocation is a rough form of flattery,
    only perversely sincere when you smother me.
    Diagnosed comatose is my ghost in your hand
    while asphyxiation goes according to plan.

    Depraved I am, but so are you.
    Choke me until my lips turn blue.

    Masochism has an abominable flair,
    malevolently tangling the chains we wear,
    sawing through a skeleton of what used to be
    covered in flesh, and tonight, the casket is free.

    Idle I am, but so are you.
    Motionless lungs obstruct my view.

    Covered in dust are the shovels in your moonlight.
    What used to glitter is filled with fluid and spite.
    Irrationality rapes forgivable sins,
    curing insomnia when destruction begins.

    Silent I am, and so are you,
    but homicide is nothing new.




    Submitted on 2008-05-07 03:39:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Again...

    At this point in time, I should just be able to write that and then you get what I'm saying. Because to continuously tell you the perfect wording in the perfect subject from the perfect writer for it has to get old after awhile.

    You write so tight with lines that roll you thru the story, keep you hanging until the end and leave you breathless for whatever reasons (be it because of familiarity or just plain awed by your skill).

    My favorite line, your first:
    "Suffocation is a rough form of flattery"
    All your lines have weight with me - this one just is so, oh what can I say...PERFECT

    EXCELLENT write
    | Posted on 2008-05-17 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oooooh this is cuuuute. lol not the comment you were expecting huh, yeah I strive to be different like everyone else who who wants to be different from everyone...else??? Umm yeah...so anyways nice piece. I gotta go I'm weirding myself out.

    Spending my life savings on a psychiatrist,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2008-05-11 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]


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