The days fall back on themselves
and I hate who I am again
it must be hard for my friends and family
to watch me getting better only to see me get
much worse than I was to begin with.
I'm on a bungee, high up in the air.
I took the first plummet a year ago,
now there is just bouncing.
Down
Up
Down
Up a little less than before
Down a little more
When does it end? When does sadness finally engulf me?
I'm scared of myself again;
There is a razor in my pocket
that wants my blood written all over it.
There must be a symbol here
my dad's carpet razor corsing through my skin
but I could never blame him.
I blame myself for my lamenting tears
I cannot hold the ugliness inside,
I say things that I don't mean..
to everyone and then for some stupid reason
wonder why I look around and all my
friends
are
gone.
I pushed them away and they got sick
of the tears I caused, the worry
They wanted to smile, they knew with me
there would be no hope.
I bring people down, flatten out their inspiration
to make their lives ugly like mine.
It's not something I mean to do,
it just happens.
I dial three of your digits on the phone
then I quickly hang up.
Why would I want to put you through more?
Haven't you hurt enough?
I'm like some kindof poison
I will travel through the arteries
all the way to your heart,
I will break it.
Never something I meant to do...
like I said, just happens. |
Submission Name: Lamenting
