I am the carefully careless.
I try to hurt myself on the outside to kill the pain on the inside.
I remember drinking to drown out the pain,
cutting to extinguish it,
and pills to dull it.
I'm ready to stop the agony.
Good memories aren't made by being sad.
When you're sad all you do is sink into the ground
like a weighted down stone and it makes it harder to get out.
That is one thing I've learned.
So now that I am all grown up..
I'm starting to wish that all the fairy tales were real
I mean isn't there supposed to be a prince arriving just about now?
I know I need to start depending more on myself...
But I've always been a hopeless romantic.
That's the point- - hopeless.
I know you don't like to hear defeat
but I hate more to feel it.
I was always that girl that you imagined was going to be something.
I'm just broken by the thousand ways of wasted time.
I'm sure you can hear the unsureness cascading through my words.
Is this all a wish? a dream to be stronger all of a sudden?
I'm not sure but, I think it's you.
You give me the strength to live beyond my bounds.
And for that, thank you.
Either way, I'm going to get better.
I am determined
even in her carefully careless own ways.
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Submission Name: Carefully Careless.
