Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Another Episodedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Fadeintoreality
    Elite Ratio:    1.95 - 33/114/64
    Words: 177
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 559
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1153



    Description:
       Also wrote around the age 12


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAnother Episodedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The ringing screams of suicide call home
    the dead rose peddles lie at my feet
    no more bruises of cuts from being beat
    wrists of blood and weakened strength
    I crumble foward in regret
    lost in imaginary cartoons
    angry faces sing to me
    "come to me, just let go and leave"
    raindrops dripping down my face
    flooding, breathing, drowning
    there is nothing you can do, nothing
    broken hearts and bloodied knife
    torn skin crying to be saved
    scars of cuts that cant be healed
    reaching out, screaming no one is there
    I'm left alone, alone for no one is there
    stumbling foward to look for a answer
    falling, crawling down on my knees
    seeping blood drips from my hands
    cross my heart and hope to die
    my eyes are out of focus as I wait
    fleeing, crying I am dying
    goodbye forever and always
    my love, my life, my fantasy
    my blood has pured
    my body now dead
    the tears, they all have been shed
    its time for me to be forgotten
    forever, for I've finally fallen




    Submitted on 2008-05-10 15:39:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This isn't too bad, although beyond clichéd you've managed to write this without bad spelling and it turned out semi-interesting. I was sort of lost in the formatting though, you really should break up stuff so that it isn't such a strain on the eyes to try and read. I'd also suggest trying to find a way to write a poem that doesn't use the same lines that I've read over and over again in other poems.

    angry faces sing to me
    "come to me, just let go and leave"

    was good, that's what to me saved this from being clichéd and boring.
    | Posted on 2008-05-12 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    161257

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Cover written by saartha
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Records I written by Raphael
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    prison written by ShyOne
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry