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    dots Submission Name: Another Episodedots

    Author: Fadeintoreality
    Elite Ratio:    1.95 - 33/114/64
    Words: 177
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 568
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1153

       Also wrote around the age 12

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAnother Episodedots

    The ringing screams of suicide call home
    the dead rose peddles lie at my feet
    no more bruises of cuts from being beat
    wrists of blood and weakened strength
    I crumble foward in regret
    lost in imaginary cartoons
    angry faces sing to me
    "come to me, just let go and leave"
    raindrops dripping down my face
    flooding, breathing, drowning
    there is nothing you can do, nothing
    broken hearts and bloodied knife
    torn skin crying to be saved
    scars of cuts that cant be healed
    reaching out, screaming no one is there
    I'm left alone, alone for no one is there
    stumbling foward to look for a answer
    falling, crawling down on my knees
    seeping blood drips from my hands
    cross my heart and hope to die
    my eyes are out of focus as I wait
    fleeing, crying I am dying
    goodbye forever and always
    my love, my life, my fantasy
    my blood has pured
    my body now dead
    the tears, they all have been shed
    its time for me to be forgotten
    forever, for I've finally fallen

    Submitted on 2008-05-10 15:39:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This isn't too bad, although beyond clichéd you've managed to write this without bad spelling and it turned out semi-interesting. I was sort of lost in the formatting though, you really should break up stuff so that it isn't such a strain on the eyes to try and read. I'd also suggest trying to find a way to write a poem that doesn't use the same lines that I've read over and over again in other poems.

    angry faces sing to me
    "come to me, just let go and leave"

    was good, that's what to me saved this from being clichéd and boring.
    | Posted on 2008-05-12 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]

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