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Fluttering among my insides.
Tickling me on the inside.
Making me smile, making me giggle.
It's hilarious on the inside.
It's flying in sync with my heartbeat.
It's racing against my heartbeat.
It's teaching my heart to beat.
And Oh, how my heart beats.
It's amazing, the whispers in my ear,
of all the advice and insides.
It's amazing, all the sound,
all the fluttering languages.
The language of wings,
Language of eyelashes,
and language of heartbeats.
In this language, hummingbird
tells me secrets of my insides.
| Since most of the time people describe getting butterflies inside, I find the hummingbird refreshing! They are delightful little birds, but I am not very certain I'd want one fluttering inside me. I did enjoy this poem and know you'll keep writing and honing your skills in the coming years. :-) Sharon||| Posted on 2008-06-27 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ] || You should see a doctor about that! |
Anyway, I disagree with Paradox, the first stanza is my favorite. You don't get the effect at all, though, unless you read it outloud, so I understand his/her view. "It's hilarious on the inside" is my favorite, though, it reminds me of the the first time I fell in love and for months it didn't matter what situation I was in, I just felt like smiling and giggling all the time!
|| Posted on 2008-06-16 00:00:00 | by Pax Parvani | [ Reply to This ] || A very, very neat and nifty poem, indeed! Interesting and most intrigueing, deftly done and really quite unique all around.... bravo... bravo... bravo... michael||| Posted on 2008-06-06 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ] || I don't really wanna comment about the inspiration on this piece as you are so young but it's nice. :) The first stanza could use some more work but overall it's a good poem. Keep writing.||| Posted on 2008-05-11 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ] || I love this...it makes me feel so "fluttery". I really liked the concept of the hummingbird. I loved the last stanza...keep up the good work||| Posted on 2008-05-11 00:00:00 | by atonement | [ Reply to This ] |