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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Vigildots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 1034/1090/515
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/Legend
    Total Views: 56
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 623



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVigildots
    -------------------------------------------


    Each night I step where she once stepped
    Upon this antique stair.
    And countless vigils I have kept
    In hopeful, silent prayer.

    So quietly despair has crept
    Into a secret lair,
    My heart, where all the joy’s been swept.
    Dear God, it’s so unfair!

    But in my dreams wild hope has leapt
    Across this Winter air,
    We’ll meet again, I now accept.
    I have the hope to dare!

    Each night I step where she once stepped
    Upon this antique stair.
    And countless vigils I have kept
    In hopeful, silent prayer.




    Submitted on 2008-05-11 12:55:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      a lost love that promised to come home? i think it is beautiful and sad, as I do all your poetry. This one seems to veer away from the ocean and her seduction, and leans more towards a religious or sacred love, not so much the bawdy lustful yearning that you usually express. Am I right, or just blowing smoke?

    peace
    Maddie
    | Posted on 2008-05-13 00:00:00 | by Madelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      This seems really sad to me, though I know you mean it to be more hopeful it somehow seems a bit bitter. The only thing I would suggest is on the third paragraph I'd suggest uncapping Winter and not putting an ! at the end of it, it sort of throws off the whole thing. Maybe you should take off all ending punctuation and let the readers decide for themselves how it should sound? Just a suggestion
    | Posted on 2008-05-12 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]
      This so eloquently and excellently describes the heart's longing! Longing that is exaggerated by being in places where she once was, and thus her presence lingers there!

    We mortal men are doomed; if we are not killed by love's vagaries, then we are driven mad by the memories left behind after it is long gone!

    Another excellent, excellent write my able friend in letters!!
    | Posted on 2008-05-11 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


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