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    dots Submission Name: Dead To Youdots

    Author: Razor2TheRosary
    ASL Info:    24 - f - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 238/127/51
    Words: 169
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 963
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1064


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDead To Youdots

    I'd never needed anything so meaningless
    until your desperate motives overpowered mine
    the way they always will.
    So I stayed and made a home out of emptiness
    because dedication only lets us combine
    the way you want us to.

    But I am dead to you
    and you are life to me,
    shoving needles through my spine.

    I know so much better than to worship the past,
    watching you wrap your mouth around my hips again
    the way you always will.
    And I know these moments are too perfect to last
    because selfish fingertips still open my vein
    the way you want them to.

    But I am dead to you
    and you are haunting me,
    licking the blood from my lips.

    Maybe I cut too deeply this time, distorting
    the flesh you possess so violently every night
    the way you always will.
    But since I'm infected, you can keep contorting
    beauty into a plague when no one else will bite
    the way you want them to.

    Submitted on 2008-05-12 03:41:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is amazing wording...i'll be back..i already have twice...still digesting..."the way you want the reader to" maybe...

    you are in me, so i have no choice...i'll be what you want me to. so we can be what you want us to...

    "selfish fingertips open my vein"

    you only get what you want from me in a selfish way...but in my own selfish way... i like it..and want more of it...
    | Posted on 2011-03-11 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      If you ever found a way to stop feeding yourself quick fixes with temporary gratification your poetry would either cease or take a dramatic shift.

    I hope that someday I will get to meet you fully alive. It's strange to be on the outside looking in... but from this view I can see all your potential trapped inside a vase that you casually hand away to those who would rather break you than mend you.

    I know I've spoken boldly, but I wouldn't have it any other way.


    | Posted on 2008-05-24 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      Your two "But I am dead to you..." perfect refrains with the twist. And the last lines with the "the way you want them to..." Excellent tie-ins.
    Your wording - damn! You so have a grasp on this.

    "But since I'm infected, you can keep contorting
    beauty into a plague when no one else will bite."
    F&#K*n^ AWESOME!

    Nikkki, you may find the subject yuck - but the inspiration you pull from it is never ceasing in excellence.

    I like - big time
    | Posted on 2008-05-17 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]

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