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    dots Submission Name: just a thought or threedots

    Author: silent strings
    Elite Ratio:    5.78 - 120/94/22
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Riddle/Happy
    Total Views: 1809
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 744

       i lied. this is my last one. i'll end on a happier note, eh? ok.

    take it easy

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsjust a thought or threedots

    i say
    all this earth
    could give me
    dust showers
    and erupting clouds
    reminding me
    of vesuvius
    and pompeii
    in history books
    i've read
    churning over
    tragedies happen
    to the seemingly
    who grace pages
    and paintings
    and the sound
    of concertos
    raised to god
    and the conductor
    at notes
    to catch fire
    and tell the stars
    all is wild and good
    and pure
    and scraping
    for affection

    like you knew

    Submitted on 2008-05-12 06:51:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well blow me down, it's fire
    and while I was thinking of how my nephews
    go to the pews every week to remember God
    I remember that in every moment we create
    and say thank you
    from the void comes a fire
    an epiphany that sounds
    much like this

    this is almost minimalist for you and I like it
    all the feathers and fluff have been burned away
    I see your soul and it's eons old and yet
    right here in the moment


    | Posted on 2008-06-05 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]

    i quite enjoyed your previous anarchist's blow out (!)

    i think it does us all good once in a while to
    spit blood and bile and let
    it all out,
    but i am glad that you decided to return here
    to this place where you have so many
    to end on a happier note.
    what a difference a few days cogitation
    and a good night's sleep make...

    your words here are optimistic and
    full of hope.
    the final piece of writing is lovely.

    i have sat in your writer's cafe, avidly reading
    with a mug of black coffee in my hand, and i see you have not
    lost your edge. far from it.
    to say that
    you are somewhat of an enigma would be
    an understatement but right now
    you do seem to be marking one of life's great milestones.
    not exactly
    'when impetuous youth and prudence meet '.. .. but
    your comet is blazing its trails across the universe right now
    and at some point soon,
    i feel there will be a supernovae explosion

    ..so i guess we all need to hold on,
    take a deep breath
    and tighten our kuiper belts!


    | Posted on 2008-05-26 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]
      I like your style. I like the format and how it causes the reader to focus on certain words or phrases.

    My favorite lines:

    to catch fire
    and tell the stars
    all is wild and good
    and pure
    and scraping
    for affection

    like you knew

    You paint a picture with the words you choose of how we all feel about the need for affection. That's not easy to do.

    You have a very original style and there aren't alot of poets that do. For that reason, I wouldn't change a thing.

    | Posted on 2008-05-22 00:00:00 | by Seagirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this.
    I especially like the last few llines:

    at notes
    to catch fire
    and tell the stars
    all is wild and good
    and pure
    and scraping
    for affection

    like you knew

    It is just such a powerful ending!

    Something about it reminds me of Mary Oliver. Have you ever read her poem Wild Geese?

    Wild Geese
    by Mary Oliver

    You do not have to be good.
    You do not have to walk on your knees
    for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
    You only have to let the soft animal of your body
    love what it loves.
    Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
    Meanwhile the world goes on.
    Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
    are moving across the landscapes,
    over the prairies and the deep trees,
    the mountains and the rivers.
    Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
    are heading home again.
    Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
    the world offers itself to your imagination,
    calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
    over and over announcing your place
    in the family of things.

    from Dream Work by Mary Oliver
    published by Atlantic Monthly Press
    Mary Oliver

    She is one of my favorite poets and I think this is my favorite poem of hers. Anyway, thanks for the great read. Also, thanks for the welcome to Elite Skills.
    | Posted on 2008-05-21 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      brilliant piece. it had a perfect flow and was, overall, quite impressive.
    | Posted on 2008-05-16 00:00:00 | by blackbird | [ Reply to This ]
      hey. so you gone from here, too?

    THIS is... there's only one way I can explain it.

    There was a band from the 90s called The Dismemberment Plan. They pioneered a sort of noisy, semi-dancy rock that ended up perverted and spewed out ten years later by crap emo bands which I will not name cause really they (and their producers) misssed the whole point.
    I could go on, but I'll spare you.

    Anyway, the last song on their last album is called Ellen and Ben (excellent song) sums up their subject matter perfectly with a sort of ease and finality, like they knew this was their last go and they just got straight to the point and that this has written all through it.

    So yeah. Might not seem like much, but the band and that song in particular mean a lot to me, not just as a standalone thing but for when it came and in relation to the rest of their output.

    And this; ditto.

    It's got everything here without trying to be a summation. Creation, great imagery (eruptions!) and all the metaphorical writings and why
    tragedies happen
    to the seemingly

    are they eternal for the tragedies or is tragedy something that only happens to these almost legendary nonexisters. how we're immortal through art. how we do it for exactly that reason sometimes. and hell, I love how the beginning and end are.... like in a haze or something where the cloud of words evoke a feeling ... well i'm talking about the beginning, the end is very precise and to-the-point but nicely ambiguoous and applicable worldwide. gah! you know, maybe you should leave more often if you're gonna write things like this.
    | Posted on 2008-05-14 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
      I did know. I do.

    I'd say goodbye, but I'll see you, so....

    Just downing my word count, yep.



    | Posted on 2008-05-14 00:00:00 | by sadtrapofgravit | [ Reply to This ]

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