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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love Adriftdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: caelyn rose
    ASL Info:    19/F/Va
    Elite Ratio:    2.96 - 4/8/11
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 486
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 482



    Description:
       For Victoria so she may swim


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove Adriftdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A jagged rip that represents
    What used to be one soul,
    But now it's love so torn apart
    Two halves that made a whole.

    Look now at that poor broken heart
    Which whispers, as it floats away,
    "I love you baby, hold me close,
    yet nothing good can stay."

    The swirling current steals these words
    And spirals off to sea,
    It vanishes, it flows away,
    For true love will never be.




    Submitted on 2008-05-12 18:38:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with Maddie

    If ya want something go for it Damn the consequences...

    ~Carrie
    | Posted on 2008-05-18 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with Maddie

    If ya want something go for it Damn the consequences...

    ~Carrie
    | Posted on 2008-05-18 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
      I hate to say it, but I really disagree with this poem. It was written nicely and seems truly heartfelt, but I think that it gives up too easily.
    Eh, I guess we just have different opinions on love, but either way you did farily well in the technical and structural parts of this piece.

    Peace
    Maddie
    | Posted on 2008-05-13 00:00:00 | by Madelaine | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?



    161310

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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