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I feel guilty for feeling this week,
Emotions are a privelge
From which I have not deserved.

I was sad yesterday,
Instead of numb.
I watched as my precious tears fell to the ground,
Trying my best to catch them.
I watched through a mirror as I cried in shame,
Trying my best to stop the flow.

I was mad the day before yesterday,
Instead of numb.
I remember glaring at my mom and clenching my fists,
I remember the intensity of the situation from which I could not depict.

I was happy the day before the day before yesterday,
Instead of numb.
I could feel myself smiling.
I could feel the spark in my dead eyes return.
Now that was the worst of all.

Feeling is weird,
Feeling is different,
Emotions as a whole are so confusing.
I couldn't get the hang of them.
I felt over dramatic.
But I guess that's what happens when you haven't felt in years.
They come tumbling back in packs,
Flowing in by the hundreds.

But I'll be back the way I was when I lock the box back up.
That box filled to the top with all my emotions,
That I have trouble identifying.