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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The One Signless Mandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cirruculum
    ASL Info:    17/Male/SW Kansas
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 36/35/17
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 57
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 940



    Description:
       Bash it to hell. I'm doing this for a College Writing class, and I need all the constructive criticism I can get.

    Have a good day,
    Cirruculum (JR)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe One Signless Mandots
    -------------------------------------------


    Amidst the swirl of planets, stars, suns
    rising and falling, infants being born
    to mothers who are fish or virgins,
    fathers who are bulls and rams,
    there is you.

    And when you are born,
    they place you at a mountain's base and tell you: Walk,
    slowly if you must, but keep your eyes on the zenith.
    You will trip over your long hair once or twice, but someday
    you will stand at the top and feast on precious metals
    tin cans, silver bottle caps, golden candy wrappers.
    You are a goat, they say.

    But I am reluctant to believe
    in your four legs, diabolic resemblances,
    penchant for selling your soul to the highest bidder,
    and I say: You must be the one that got away,
    escaped the pull of celestial seasons and ancient wisdom,
    the one signless man.

    And the universe suddenly expands.




    Submitted on 2008-05-12 22:31:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Well, I'd have to call it plagiarism since I wrote the poem myself about 6 years ago. Please do yourself a favor and rather than copying someone else's work illegally give yourself the benefit of the doubt--write something yourself. It might not be that bad.
    | Posted on 2008-09-19 00:00:00 | by annang | [ Reply to This ]
      Well,...I'm certainly not going to bash this at all. For I really don't get the meaning behing it. I'd enjoy it greatly if you could explain it, not line for line, but a summary if you would. This is honestly,... beautifully written, even though I don't quite understand it. It's still a wonderful piece!

    Beautiful, yet Corrupted
    | Posted on 2008-09-17 00:00:00 | by DearlyDeparted | [ Reply to This ]


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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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