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    dots Submission Name: Premonitiondots

    Author: annie0888
    ASL Info:    49/f/LA
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 327/382/122
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1018
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 824


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    It happens fast, once it happens,
    though itís been a long time coming.
    Crossing that narrow trestle

    youíve pictured it Ė the slip of the wheel,
    a skid through the rail.
    Black water, flat as glass,
    rises to meet you.

    The surface smacks hard,
    as if bracing itself
    before it gives way.
    You didnít choose this way;

    it has chosen you.
    Water washes over the windows,
    leaks in through locked doors
    sloshes at your shoes.

    The air thins inside.
    Hair floats and weaves around your face,
    waving to the duckweed
    that waves back at you.

    Sink to sleep, dream of a crane Ė
    that magnetic angel,
    hoisting you to heaven
    car and all.

    Submitted on 2008-05-13 00:17:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You are really a good one here. Really liked the cinematic evocation and your evocative language- so graphic.
    | Posted on 2012-10-06 00:00:00 | by Snow9 | [ Reply to This ]
      Just recently had a horrorfying experience on the highway. Must say though, I think this must be the worst of the lot. What a terrible way to go. Your images were realistic, a scene we've seen so many times in movies. One can only imagine the terror. The last stanza saves this as poetry, and not just a prose account of dying. That "car and all" ending is a winner, loved it.

    | Posted on 2008-06-30 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      I've been through four bad car wrecks, and your excellent poem made me think of them! This was very well written, with a good story scheme and artistic conclusion!

    Well done, lovely lady!
    | Posted on 2008-05-18 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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