Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Truth of it alldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: atonement
    Elite Ratio:    2.71 - 106/186/98
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 712
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 907



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Truth of it alldots
    -------------------------------------------


    I lay on the cold tiled floor,
    my heart is empty,
    drowning in my own tears,
    clothed in white,
    ripped, blood-stained, mud-painted.

    The snow didn't fall that night, though it was winter.
    We were warm inside.
    You were half way across the room,
    I was on the couch with a friend.
    You made the first move.

    It we knew each other a year and half,
    we hardly talked,
    never saw each other,
    yet still you were on my mind.

    A month and a half ago,
    I asked you out in a bar,
    I made the first move this time,
    and I'm glad I did.

    You found me on the cold tiled,
    you lifted me,
    and held me in your embrace.
    You stirped me naked from my sinner's past,
    you cleaned me with my tears.
    And told me you loved me




    Submitted on 2008-05-13 08:56:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Saved and redeemed by love! Very heartfelt and winful write! Nice going, lovely lady!
    | Posted on 2008-05-13 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    161333

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry