Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: sanctuarydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: shaman
    ASL Info:    26/m/Holland,MI
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 761/362/68
    Words: 266
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 54
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1721



    Description:
       This is not worthy of being posted but i may work with it more. Anyway i'm writing again even if it's terrible. in the works


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssanctuarydots
    -------------------------------------------


    The way that it feels,
    Feet congealing to rubber; through cotton,
    It's as if I've forgotten this vehicle is naturally soleless
    Nestling into this skin, blessed sanctity in motion
    Knees bend then extend sending me airborne
    And with this propulsion comes the expulsion of all other thought,
    I become simply sensation;
    The wind on my skin, the other side of the river bank rapidly approaching, the clarity of the freezing stream
    Three or four feet beneath me
    Upon impact black dirt indents an inch or two,
    Pounding the ground with my limbs to distribute
    the force
    Scrambling through an obsticale course
    dodging roots and shoots of new growth
    Canopy cloaked in shadow
    My eyes oscilate battling to keep pace
    Peripherial vision falters
    Against a maple branch my cheek is scraped
    Outstreched arms embrace the picnic table top
    Nearly wretching from lactic acid
    For a moment forced to stop
    The termite toppled hemlock is slick beneath my feet
    Hopping to the hand rail
    Running up the banister with ease
    The wooden creak beneath my feet makes me feel at home
    When I reach the peak as almost always I'm alone
    The dune erodes below me as I laugh lauching myself quickly from the path
    Scrambling high above the valley across a tree bridge thats at least 2-3 years old
    Euphoria taking hold
    Rotating my torso back and forth
    Swiveling to the forest floor
    Elated by this intercoarse with nature



    sorry this is under constuction---------






    Submitted on 2008-05-14 08:26:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      you know why I like this one...it's totally you...this whole piece I'm thinking "something he loves coming through in his words"

    Beautiful...it is ruff and could use a little buffing but I'm happy to see it.

    I can see you atop the cliff looking out over the world

    Peace
    | Posted on 2008-05-20 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    161369



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry