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    dots Submission Name: ~::Deep Within This Abyss::~dots

    Author: Silima
    ASL Info:    21/F/Missouri, US
    Elite Ratio:    1.64 - 1/5/7
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Misc/
    Total Views: 551
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 718

       I got really bored and threw some stuff together. And my sis said it was good.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots~::Deep Within This Abyss::~dots

    Fallen from the heavens I cry,
    Death wakening kiss I die,
    Love bites us like the cold of frost,
    And we all learn as angels fall,
    Tis better to have loved and lost,
    Than never to have loved at all,
    This is my dream that haunts,
    My every waking moment,
    There is so much to live for,
    And So much to die for,
    This is my love letter to nobody,
    I hold on to hope,
    Dream of love,
    Awakened by hate,
    But failure seems to be my fate,
    Darkened by lust,
    I am dying inside,
    Not to be in your arms,
    Beckoned by your voice,
    Or awakened by your kiss,
    I am broken,
    Deep within this abyss.

    Submitted on 2008-05-15 10:58:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is really good, Silima!

    I especially liked:

    'Love bites us like the cold of frost,
    And we all learn as angels fall,
    Tis better to have loved and lost,
    Than to never to have loved at all'

    (I think you don't need the first to in the last verse of the above stanza; it would read better if you said

    'Than never to have loved at all'

    Excellent work, lovely lady!
    | Posted on 2008-05-15 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh... I like this piece, and as I have said in one of my poems. " Make yourself heard, with the freedom of the spoken word." I would like to hear this poem at an Open Mic night somewhere
    This is a good write. I think you have what it takes to be poetis. Well at least your pen name is

    The Poor Man's Poet.
    | Posted on 2008-05-15 00:00:00 | by Bobby K | [ Reply to This ]

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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