[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Falldots

    Author: Cloacina
    ASL Info:    25/F/KY
    Elite Ratio:    5.24 - 20/53/54
    Words: 542
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1531
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 3587


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Falldots

    In the beginning Lilith fell, for refusing to start already fallen.
    Then there was Eve who took the fall for Eden,
    And Adam who fell for Eve.

    Now Cloacina has fallen, too,
    First from the marriage bed,
    the sacred waters of her veins,
    shot up with sewage,
    the holy canals transformed to flowing ribbons of waste.

    Yet her function, devotees realized,
    though less romantic than her old forte,
    was vital to life, health, and indeed,
    the glistening of stars in lover’s eyes.

    Doubtless though, at all conventions on Mt. Olympus,
    some snooty Goddess would say with a snicker,
    “There she goes- the Goddess of Shit.”

    Cloacina has fallen under Venus.
    Who began with assimilating her image,
    making her a detail and not the detailed,
    so the world might notice less as she eroded away,
    digested, processed and neatly removed.
    Venus remains the essence of love, romanticized, and renowned.

    Cloacina, scarcely remembered,
    finally rises weakly in the background,
    in the undying shadow of the Goddess of Love,
    herself eternally the Goddess of shit to those who bless her with the knowledge of her name,
    embalmed of reverence to all that she has been.

    Great Medusa of the waves has fallen, as well,
    First under Poseidon whose clear waters could not cleanse him of his sins,
    Then under haughty Aphrodite,
    who got her panties in a wad over Medusa’s phantom slight.

    Medusa whose beauty had been sole consolation for the mortality that out of three sisters
    plagued only she,
    But under the cruel hand of Love’s Goddess it all fell away,
    her soft hair turned to heavy snakes,
    and her former beauty out-rivaled by the now unbearable blight of her countenance,
    But the punishment was not in the decaying of her aesthetic grace,
    but in the constraints of insurmountable loneliness,
    Unapproachable, she became unlovable.

    Like a hunter who prides themselves on the trophy heads of innocent beasts,
    Vain Aphrodite was not satisfied with falls 1 through 3,
    Thus Medusa fell again,
    Under the mirror of Aphrodite, reflection of Venus,
    Her petrified head paraded as proof of some imagined greatness,
    And now she has fallen from Goddess to Monster, Beauty to Beast.

    Though her name may evoke electrical storms of imagined recognition,
    those who know her name,
    Falsely believe they know her true face.

    I met him in the Fall before the fall.
    I never told him before it was too late,
    that he smelled like home,
    and like Eden before the advent of snakes.

    He said he had fallen,
    then repeated it with me,
    And now I have fallen under him,
    A natural transition, that whispers of heresy.
    He was my pericardium, now dropped away,
    pulled as surely off as a caul brushed from a newborn’s face.

    But as Cloacina remains in the shadow of Venus,
    I remain under his shadow.
    He has become my phantom limb.
    My arms feel awkward and unnatural without him to wrap around,
    As if he were always some integral part of them.
    My body aches with the need to feel whole.
    My soul seeks him in guidance.
    He has risen over me like Athena,
    The shadow of love,
    And the face of an untouchable God.

    Submitted on 2008-05-16 19:28:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Well constructed poem and well composed. I like it because it has a “cultic” ring to it.
    I have some knowledge of mythology and the workings of mysticisms.
    The Fall is an actual fact and Lillith the opposite to Eve in the story is well known to me.
    My poem “ A Tree Forbidden Amoral
    deals with something similar and is strangely familiar. Including yourself as a participant in the story of mythology is interesting and very aptly achieved and although not actually part of the legend, interesting.
    We all share fantasies that are not fantasies and myths that are well related to everyday life. I do believe that fantasias do not exist as such but are an integral part of everyday life. I am not a fantasia and although my “thoughts” are considered fantasy it cannot be true otherwise why do I have them? Deep things these and intriguing. Will share again. And by the way – God and angels are not fantasies either to my mind. As some do believe. My "In Peace" was my first ever and - try it. Will share again. Joachim
    | Posted on 2008-08-24 00:00:00 | by Joachim | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it...I'm also going to fav it.

    I love greek mythology. I was overjoyed at my summer reading list, it included myth book.

    A fall from grace, eh? Don't worry about the jealous goddesses You should define yourself.
    Don't let your need for your "phantom limb" define you...please. Because thats setting yourself up majorly. cynical, yes. But watch out.

    It was a good write and I didn't catch any grammer errors or what-not.

    | Posted on 2008-06-16 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
      ya know what, Im gonna fav this one, thats just damn intelligent. READ much? Its one hell of a story you just wrote. Beautifull ending indeed.

    and angels you say? adam and eve? GOD?

    lol wow, where do they come from.

    you should stop by and check it out sometimes. my writings I mean. Feel free to read. :)

    | Posted on 2008-05-17 00:00:00 | by siroez | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]