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Love on the Streets of NYC


Author: Dimension_X
ASL Info:    17/F/NJ
Elite Ratio:    5.39 - 124 /108 /70
Words: 85
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1166
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 572



Description:


At TeenArts we were given an excercise on concrete poetry of the shape of a circle.

This is about the circle of relationships and the circle of life...

...cue Elton John.

read on.


Love on the Streets of NYC



Across the street our eyes meet
and embrace
in a strangers stare.
Your hands would be warm,
strong, comforting-
your laugh even more so.
Though you’ve never liked
tomatoes, you’d put them in the salad
just for me.
Your eyes would tell me stories
of rainforests in
Brazil
but I’d have to look hard
to write them.
Your body-
…you’re gone.
Blinking white figure
tells me to cross,
and like last nights rain,
you’re gone.




Submitted on 2008-05-16 19:50:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  This is a superb, even an exceptional poem! I loved it, loved it, absolutely loved it! bravo... bravo... bravo...
| Posted on 2008-06-18 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
  blissful and sweet in a precise yet meandering way; i like where this took me.

you have a voice not many have.
don't let it get eaten by wolves.
really.
| Posted on 2008-05-22 00:00:00 | by silent strings | [ Reply to This ]
  Your eyes would tell me stories
of rainforests in
Brazil
but I’d have to look hard
to write them.
Your body-
…you’re gone.
Blinking white figure
tells me to cross,
and like last night's rain,
you’re gone.



Another beautiful mirage melts into the moving mass of eyes, polite conversation, goddess worship and the demands of life. This was nice, wry moment of "love doesn't quite fit into my schedule," rendered in a tangible way. Perhaps next time they should cross the street on a collision course known as 'romance.' Then the little white figure cold dance in the street with them. :)

Just a thought. You should consider refining this or expanding it, but don't abandon it.

Bill
| Posted on 2008-05-17 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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