Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Immortal Minddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sunsetserenity
    ASL Info:    21/f
    Elite Ratio:    6.49 - 23/17/12
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 626
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 741



    Description:
       I know I'm not the only one who has become so lost and engrossed in a good book or movie, that when it was over, I was disappointed that I had to go back to living... normally.

    Mortally.

    Any cristicism or encouragement is welcome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsImmortal Minddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I want to drown inside another story.

    Swallow me up until my own existence
    has become that of which I am reading.
    I want to disappear within the words of kingdoms,

    Of elves,
    and of wizards.

    Of good conquering all evil.
    Of evil conquering all good.



    My eyes have been plucked out, and I am blind to that which surrounds me.
    My emotions have dried up as thirsty lands.
    And my mind has taken its journey to far, far worlds of another time,
    yet my body remains at this mortal stand.

    Speak to me, I am silent.
    Touch me, I am cold.

    Let me be, for I am dead.





    Submitted on 2008-05-18 15:18:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i could hug you. LOVE love love the subject! you had be going all the way up to the last three lines. they fell flat. sorry but it's true. the rest of this was great because i mean that's really how it works. it was believable.
    | Posted on 2009-03-13 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay......

    In the beginning I was really feeling the poem because I thought I knew where you were going with it . Either i was wrong or i just completly understand the last verse of your work ... i mean it could be either way neither of us are perfect

    okay here is what I got from your poem, how you wrote the beginning it gave me the impression that when you read your mind completely goes blank and you are sucked in soul first into whatever your reading at the time

    "My eyes have been plucked out, and I am blind to that which surrounds me."

    to me it seems as if your saying that youve completly become blind to the world around you once again.......okay i THINK now i have some understanding of the last part if im right i believe your trying o say how you become dead to the world once you get wrapped up into a book ( i know the feeling...lol) but anyway

    all in all the poem to me was pretty good......it was deep without going that extra mile that would have made it great for me but yeah, all in all it was a pretty decent piece of work . hope you keep up the writing

    Later

    - b.t.w. sorry for any spelling errors kinda in a hurry
    | Posted on 2008-05-20 00:00:00 | by BlueTorcher | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    161512

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Incubus written by monad
    This written by Chelebel
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    To written by SavedDragon
    Linger written by saartha
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Wavelength written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry