I'm curious. Tonight a strange thing happened to me. Strange enough for me to write about. A few months ago I met a girl named, Sarah. We didn't really talk very much because honestly, I was intimidated by her (and still am). We only saw each other for a few hours on Sunday nights. I casually avoided being put on the spot by busying myself with other people in other rooms. I wanted to talk to her because she seemed to have so much depth. More depth than I am used to finding in others. But something stopped me. Every time I could find too many convenient excuses to avoid the growing tension.
Eventually our Sunday night gatherings had come to an end for the summer. She crossed my mind from time to time but I was always quickly reminded that the time had passed and that I probably wouldn't see her again. Then I get a phone call from a friend telling me that they decided to put together a cookout for everyone who usually comes on Sunday's. It's funny to me how quickly I thought of her and hoped that tonight I would be brave enough to at least start a conversation. I actually gave myself a sort of pep-talk on the way there.
Shortly after I got there she was walking right toward me. The house was packed with people, (standing room only). She came, and she went. I choked for sure. What is it about this girl that is so intimidating? I mean I don't really even know her. But once again, I let the opportunity pass me by. Soon after we all gathered around to hear some announcements for what kinds of things were going on over the next few months. Soon Nick (the director), came over the microphone and said, "Would everyone who is traveling to a different country for a long-term period this summer please come to the front?" Two people out of the group made their way to the front. Sarah was one of them.
I'll be honest, I got a little nervous when I saw her heading to the front. In my head I was thinking, "Wait, what!? Where is she going? I haven't gotten to know her yet!" Both the girls at the front began to talk about where they were going and why they were heading there. She told us that she was going home, to live in her old house in the Cayman Islands. She is going to be interning at the Church she was a part of when she was growing up. The M.C. politely asked her how long she would be there. She quickly responded with, "Probably at least two years." My heart sort of sank at that reality.
Afterward I decided that I was going to go and talk to her a little bit tonight. At least I was going to let her know how cool it is that she is interning at a Church there. So I did, and it was awkward. I never get intimidated or stutter, but tonight I did both. It was funny. I felt like a little kid. I wonder what it is about her that makes me so filled with wonder? I don't have like these overwhelming feelings for her or something, because I don't even know her personally, I only know her from seeing her interact with people around me. But still, I am here now, home from the cookout and still thinking about this girl named, Sarah, from the Cayman Islands.
I'm not sure what to make of it. There are so few people I have ever met that I really see deep character in. People I totally believe are genuine. People I actually think I could live with forever. It's a weird feeling to meet someone you believe could be "it" for you, and then hear that they are leaving this place for good. I'm not sure what to do with my thoughts and my emotions right now.
It is strange to be excited for someone who is leaving when you wish they could stay.