Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Semi-Conscious Dreamsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: UnderlinedInRed
    ASL Info:    18/f/PA
    Elite Ratio:    4.24 - 196/262/123
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 586
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1379



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSemi-Conscious Dreamsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I close my eyes,
    My mind alive,
    Impending sleep,
    Is slowly creeping
    Into me.
    I see a man
    Arms outward
    Grasping tightly
    To my legs,
    My arms.
    Carrying me.
    I want to sleep,
    I want to rest.
    “Why must I be taken?”
    I whisper keenly.
    I hope,
    My love
    Is clutching me
    I hope it is his arms
    That pull me close.
    His face, unclear,
    I scan his brow.

    It is not him!
    I scream and kick
    I jolt around,
    I want to be free
    To fall on ground.
    “Let me be!”
    I scream to him.
    Let me run back,
    To beds soft sling.
    His eyes, his lips,
    His foul smell
    I swiftly change his face
    In semi-consciousness
    I retrace,
    A disguise of sister, brother,
    Lover, mother, father,
    Friend.
    They slowly mold,
    Take form.
    Until one by one they burn.
    Perfect pictures fall,
    Like lit papers,
    Browning, crisping,
    Until mere ashes
    Cover once still ground.
    “Save me!”
    I yelp.
    “Help me!”
    Lungs tighten
    Breathe harder,
    Faster.
    I awaken.
    A semiconscious dream.
    Of which,
    I couldn’t be more shaken.
    Afraid to sleep.




    Submitted on 2008-05-19 07:20:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    161551

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bond written by saartha
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Linger written by saartha
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry