[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Feild of Stonedots

    Author: koolness
    ASL Info:    17/female/city of evil
    Elite Ratio:    2.58 - 80/106/56
    Words: 74
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 890
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 414


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFeild of Stonedots

    He lays his flowers in the feild of stone,
    It's been seven years, his devotion still goes strong.
    He gave his heart to the one he loved, long ago,
    Time is almost up, time for him to go.
    He closes his eyes just to see her face,
    Soon, he reminds himself, he'll go to that place.
    They lay his flowers in a feild of stone,
    Knowing now he is no longer alone.

    Submitted on 2008-05-19 18:34:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I'm surely positive that you meant to write Field in Olde english. First thing i would like to say is yes the imagery was strong but i didn't feel the emotion in it. The amount of comma's used makes the wording seem choppy, and stopped the flow. Good write but i would like to see more emotion behind the writing.
    | Posted on 2008-05-21 00:00:00 | by silentpoison | [ Reply to This ]
      I could see this pictured perfectly in my mind. And the peace..if you want to call it that, felt at the end of that was... jovial.. or something peaceful in your mind that knows its right.

    Hikaru Yue
    | Posted on 2008-05-19 00:00:00 | by KeeperOfLight | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]