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    dots Submission Name: Ariadots

    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.77 - 417/433/131
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 663
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 459


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    my heart sings for you
    it reaches to its highest octave
    it pulses slowly to a mournful melody
    single notes

    as if you've stroked

    against my breastbone

    it sings

    a single song

    a slow succession

    a funeral march

    my heart sings


    for you

    Submitted on 2008-05-20 16:01:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    Remember when you wrote this?
    I remember my own poems, the first ones I submitted, man, I was shaking when I got the first reviews. It somehow felt different.
    Anyway, going through mine, I wondered: has your interpretation changed? How so? Would you still write this?

    I know I would write mine again. Huh.


    | Posted on 2013-09-05 00:00:00 | by Jimi James | [ Reply to This ]
      It made me think of whales, who have an internet of song.

    I kind of agree with DaleP (below)
    | Posted on 2012-07-02 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      I get the gist of this aria but still it
    leaves me wanting. I feel there is a bit
    to much telling and not enough imagery.
    Like this is a great idea but it is not yet
    fulfilled in poetry.

    | Posted on 2011-09-17 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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