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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Knocking at the Doordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Broken Halo
    ASL Info:    22/M/ID
    Elite Ratio:    2.84 - 20/44/64
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 106
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 605



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKnocking at the Doordots
    -------------------------------------------


    His anger sparks the darkness
    as he lies alone in bed
    self-hatred turning outward
    blaming anyone, everyone, instead

    Inner turmoil eats away
    and bitterness tastes sweet
    he’ll swallow his pride for another day
    and never admit defeat

    Is it her he really cares for now
    or just to prove his worth?
    to let her go, he won’t “allow”
    he’ll move the heavens and the Earth

    What obscurity holds this man
    and shakes him to the core?
    …anger, fear and insecurity
    always knocking at his door




    Submitted on 2008-05-20 23:49:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      So, other people might comment on this and say the beginning was too "emo" since that seems popular these days but I must admit I really liked this.

    I can identify with alot of the feelings expressed here, and you don't overwhelm the reader with excessive length. It makes it's point, gets in, and gets out clean.

    I would give it a 7 out of 10.
    | Posted on 2008-05-22 00:00:00 | by Immortalis | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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