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    dots Submission Name: a mutual homedots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 199
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 597
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1319


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa mutual homedots

    do you remember
    when another life was loving into us,
    like thoughts move
    through open doors?

    that place is another continent,
    like i am to you,
    another world
    wrapped into dreams
    like an unborn child
    that's almost not here.

    but i remember for us all.
    & i let the trees loosen into me,
    with their orange peels of sun,
    the way that they would've wanted.
    the way that i would want them to recall us
    in our elegant affair.

    how many dreams must i dream
    or how many realities
    do i have to injest
    before i manifest
    whatever it is
    that you're looking for?

    i wonder if i can be the bleeding everything forever.
    or if i have it in me to keep true
    what must be kept true.
    when everything is broken,
    how can i keep the pieces of me
    from moving on into the emptiness of what i am?

    am i the forest,
    or is the forest that is in me
    more than i can know?
    i'll keep searching though,
    through the intricate moss of myself
    & our own.

    & still
    the robin
    guides me towards a mutual home...

    Submitted on 2008-05-21 14:08:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I should have known someone from Iceland would write such a distant piece like this. and guess what? I love it. This is absolutely excellent. I love the stanza with "ingest" and "manifest". I love the feeling of longing and self-inflection this piece relates. I mean this is some deep thought provoking stuff. Kudos my friend. A magnificent work to be proud of!
    | Posted on 2008-06-16 00:00:00 | by jayisademon | [ Reply to This ]
      I love how your verbs are just barely off-kilter, which makes them really unique and interesting.

    i wonder if i can be the bleeding everything forever.

    Yes. I wonder.
    Killer line.

    Killer piece.

    (I love your words--a lot of them (read a few pieces)--but there's this icy sort of distance to them that makes me feel a little aloof. It's amazing.)
    | Posted on 2008-05-24 00:00:00 | by sadtrapofgravit | [ Reply to This ]

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