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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Tuning Forkdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cirruculum
    ASL Info:    17/Male/SW Kansas
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 36/35/17
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 36
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 557



    Description:
       I love my piano, and I used it as a source of inspiration for a short poem. I want some nitpicking details on how I can better this.

    It's probably not my best work, but it is something I am passionate about.

    Have a good day,
    Cirruculum (JR)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Tuning Forkdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The tuning fork, an ageless device,
    Its existence seems so unchartable.
    Together the notes adherently splice.
    From Bach to Chopin, they've produced their rhythmic wares.
    Their work, so melodic, yet full of flair,
    Yet sometimes even tame as a mare.
    Music may grab you like a bucking bronc,
    Yet music can be soft as freshly cooked rice.
    Everyday people who dabble should be ever thankful!
    Many thanks for this valuable invention,
    So grand, yet so gentle as an infant's handshake.




    Submitted on 2008-05-21 20:39:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like this piece.
    i think theres a coupla things you could think about though.

    one is the way you end each line with a punctuative mark. i dont think its necessary to be honest because, in most cases, your line breaks function as punctuation.

    another thing to think about it rhyme.
    it seems you kinda switch on switch off with the rhyme and i think it would be more effective if you either rhymed the whole way through or didnt rhyme at all.

    but your imagery is good and expression of the tuning fork is cool. i love the sound a tuning fork makes... it seems so magical to me
    | Posted on 2008-06-13 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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