[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: it never camedots

    Author: ira
    ASL Info:    21.f.ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 238/273/176
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 581
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 988

       it could and all hopes it should, but hasnt yet.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsit never camedots

    My September never came,
    Thought it would but itís all a game.
    My September never came,
    Leave the lock to rust in the Pouring Pain,
    Feel it truth, the rim with youth,
    My cup was filled with fantasy.
    My September continues to drift,
    Run a-muck on lies under-sheltered ties,
    My September never came,
    Offered the keys, they dried.
    My September locked away, packed the
    Lacking memories, put them on display.
    My picture on the wall a reminder of what
    it couldnít be.
    Write a letter all the same,
    Drifting quietly through this acid fancy-flee,
    No fault but my own.
    My September never came,
    No fault but my own, yes Iíll take the blame.
    Used the patterned made you dance, Iíll drift
    a bit back to my past.
    Forever tied, but no key to unlock this Septembers past.
    No key to lock, no lock to key, September remains but a dream to me.

    Submitted on 2008-05-22 00:54:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hokay, that was good, took me for a ride and left me on the roof, it's one of those "overly comfy couch" pieces, y'know, you sit in it and just sink in and think to yourself, "I will no longer want to get up." Chisel it In Stone
    | Posted on 2008-05-26 00:00:00 | by caveman | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good. I love how it's depressing and yet not clichťd in any way, I also love the word play you used and the way you kept the theme through the entire poem.
    | Posted on 2008-05-23 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]
    | Posted on 2008-05-22 00:00:00 | by kiki402 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Records I written by Raphael
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Etiquette written by saartha
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    prison written by ShyOne
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Love written by saartha
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]