[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Far Away and Bound in Lovedots

    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 290
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 657
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1809


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFar Away and Bound in Lovedots

    Two thousand miles apart,
    kept away from one another.
    Two thousand or a million,
    what do miles mean to us?

    So far away from each other,
    distance only measured by time,
    some day we will be together,
    for now our hearts will do.

    Time means nothing and everything,
    passing so fast when we speak,
    passing not at all when you're away
    it drowns me in longing for you.

    My longing for you is invading,
    my heart hurts while I'm awake,
    my dreams are filled with you
    and thought of our love everlasting.

    A lasting love is what we share,
    hoping fate shall bring us together.
    Praying it's better than the past,
    the future is ours to mold.

    A future which we can make our own
    to do with whatsoever we may wish.
    May we make it one of joy,
    may our love endure to the end.

    The end of the world may come,
    but you are all I will ever need.
    You are the only world that matters,
    your are the only princess for me.

    My most beautiful Princess,
    engulfed in the fire of your love,
    I am happily consumed by it
    as long as I am yours.

    I give myself to you forever,
    my heart is in your care.
    Do with it what you may,
    just tell me you'll love me forever.

    When you tell me you love me,
    I am filled with countless butterflies,
    I feel as if I'm lost in the clouds.
    Nothing can be bad while I'm with you.

    The way you make me feel,
    it cannot be described by words.
    The only thing that could be close
    is to say "I love you".

    Submitted on 2008-05-23 14:34:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hm, I like the way that you wrote this piece. Not short of true poetic ability. *cookie*

    Moving on to the heavy stuff, I think there are parts of here that could be edited to create a better flow and an overall sense of awe, which is something that I do get from this. It does seem like love will capture you in its grasp when you least expect it; my own hope is that your love does last as long as you wish it to.
    | Posted on 2008-09-15 00:00:00 | by augustcranes | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this very much...way to go :)
    | Posted on 2008-05-24 00:00:00 | by Bloodlust86 | [ Reply to This ]
      good piece! it incorporates your style of starting each new verse with the idea form the last line no the last, which helps the flow of your poem, as well as your ideas. Maybe this is just me, but it sort of seemed reversed. I mean it's fine either way, but personally i think it would sound better if its flipped: you talk about your love first, and then how your love is strong enough that distance has nothing on it.
    | Posted on 2008-05-23 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]