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    dots Submission Name: Far Away and Bound in Lovedots

    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 290
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 720
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1809


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    dotsFar Away and Bound in Lovedots

    Two thousand miles apart,
    kept away from one another.
    Two thousand or a million,
    what do miles mean to us?

    So far away from each other,
    distance only measured by time,
    some day we will be together,
    for now our hearts will do.

    Time means nothing and everything,
    passing so fast when we speak,
    passing not at all when you're away
    it drowns me in longing for you.

    My longing for you is invading,
    my heart hurts while I'm awake,
    my dreams are filled with you
    and thought of our love everlasting.

    A lasting love is what we share,
    hoping fate shall bring us together.
    Praying it's better than the past,
    the future is ours to mold.

    A future which we can make our own
    to do with whatsoever we may wish.
    May we make it one of joy,
    may our love endure to the end.

    The end of the world may come,
    but you are all I will ever need.
    You are the only world that matters,
    your are the only princess for me.

    My most beautiful Princess,
    engulfed in the fire of your love,
    I am happily consumed by it
    as long as I am yours.

    I give myself to you forever,
    my heart is in your care.
    Do with it what you may,
    just tell me you'll love me forever.

    When you tell me you love me,
    I am filled with countless butterflies,
    I feel as if I'm lost in the clouds.
    Nothing can be bad while I'm with you.

    The way you make me feel,
    it cannot be described by words.
    The only thing that could be close
    is to say "I love you".

    Submitted on 2008-05-23 14:34:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hm, I like the way that you wrote this piece. Not short of true poetic ability. *cookie*

    Moving on to the heavy stuff, I think there are parts of here that could be edited to create a better flow and an overall sense of awe, which is something that I do get from this. It does seem like love will capture you in its grasp when you least expect it; my own hope is that your love does last as long as you wish it to.
    | Posted on 2008-09-15 00:00:00 | by augustcranes | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this very much...way to go :)
    | Posted on 2008-05-24 00:00:00 | by Bloodlust86 | [ Reply to This ]
      good piece! it incorporates your style of starting each new verse with the idea form the last line no the last, which helps the flow of your poem, as well as your ideas. Maybe this is just me, but it sort of seemed reversed. I mean it's fine either way, but personally i think it would sound better if its flipped: you talk about your love first, and then how your love is strong enough that distance has nothing on it.
    | Posted on 2008-05-23 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]

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