Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Adam couldn't help but stare at other women.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jakirina
    ASL Info:    19/F/WI
    Elite Ratio:    3.69 - 216/200/80
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 513
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 884



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAdam couldn't help but stare at other women.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    A kitchen blade is all I have,
    held between forefinger and thumb
    resting against your skin, shifting like a pulse
    as you swallow and breathe.

    You close your eyes. Twine threaded
    around your wrists, embracing your cold
    hands beneath you, resting against my thigh—
    still.

    Keep breathing.

    I keep you on my lap;
    fingers tangled in your locks
    the color of nightmares.

    Don’t Scream.

    A sigh, the sound of your soul
    escaping. I cradle your form
    cheek against my neck. I keep your tremors
    tight against my chest, letting their heat stain cranberry
    upon my body; its smell sweet.

    I will hold you
    until the sun dies.




    Submitted on 2008-05-25 23:46:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      incredibly intense. i really love this poem. the last line really goes well with it being such a strong line of passion because of how the opening stanza grabs hold of the readers attention. the emotion never flaked from beginning to end. very solid, i loved this.
    | Posted on 2008-05-26 00:00:00 | by cre_dia | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    161804

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    AI written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Cover written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Love written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    written by Daniel Barlow
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry