This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

I Am Lost To You

Author: sageeriol
ASL Info:    23/male/GA.
Elite Ratio:    3.19 - 314 /322 /106
Words: 102
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1465
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 673


Hell I don't really know what brought this on, but it came to life very little thought.

I Am Lost To You

When old habits seem
The most tempting
When lashing out seems
The only vindication
Of your own broken thoughts
And failed gestures
When building on the pain seems
To be the only solution
That numbs the fear
When no dagger of pity
Befalls you as you pass a lowly beggar
When no compassion seems to pass
Into your conciousness
When a child falls and fails to rise
When nothing penetrates
Your blackened shell
And you slip away from life
Into mere shadows
You will know my pain
When that day comes
You will suffer as I have suffered

Submitted on 2008-05-26 18:29:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Wow, you have blown me away with this piece! My mouth is dry with awe!
Well i am going to add this to my favorites in all honesty (not just because you added one of mine to yours!)
Man! im going back to read it again.

"When nothing penetrates
Your blackened shell
And you slip away from life"

You have spoken bitter sweet words to me. Bitter for the morbid depiction and sweet because im not alone in my feelings.

Thank you.

| Posted on 2012-01-08 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
  what a tragic sounding piece, but i like that, i think it is beautiful in its tragedy, if that makes sense, and i can completely relate to it, since i've been in that same sorta situation, where i knew that no one could understand untill they felt what i did, anyway, i loved it and thought it was really well written, and im glad i got to read it thank you for sharing it with us, take care.~Joy
| Posted on 2008-07-22 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]
  This is beautifully tragic. The sheer hopelessness and emptiness that you are able to capture in words is captivating. It touched a place in my soul that I have been going through in to old habits, caught up in the hurt and anger - the kind of phase in life where all you want to do is listen to Linkin Park and hate what's happening in your life and the people that have deliberately, heartlessly and cold-bloodedly caused you pain. What I hate most is going through the motions around everyone every day acting like I'm fine.

You can tell it's a stream-of-conscienceness thing...but I think that's the most pure, honest form of writing there is. You make it look effortless to write such a powerful piece that is so full of darkness and causes the reader to feel depths of despair. Poets that write and the reader feels, instead of just reads, are those I admire.

"This too shall pass."

Let's hope it's true. Deeply sad well written piece.

| Posted on 2008-05-31 00:00:00 | by Seagirl | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?