[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I Am Lost To Youdots

    Author: sageeriol
    ASL Info:    23/male/GA.
    Elite Ratio:    3.19 - 314/322/106
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1092
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 673

       Hell I don't really know what brought this on, but it came to life very little thought.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Am Lost To Youdots

    When old habits seem
    The most tempting
    When lashing out seems
    The only vindication
    Of your own broken thoughts
    And failed gestures
    When building on the pain seems
    To be the only solution
    That numbs the fear
    When no dagger of pity
    Befalls you as you pass a lowly beggar
    When no compassion seems to pass
    Into your conciousness
    When a child falls and fails to rise
    When nothing penetrates
    Your blackened shell
    And you slip away from life
    Into mere shadows
    You will know my pain
    When that day comes
    You will suffer as I have suffered

    Submitted on 2008-05-26 18:29:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, you have blown me away with this piece! My mouth is dry with awe!
    Well i am going to add this to my favorites in all honesty (not just because you added one of mine to yours!)
    Man! im going back to read it again.

    "When nothing penetrates
    Your blackened shell
    And you slip away from life"

    You have spoken bitter sweet words to me. Bitter for the morbid depiction and sweet because im not alone in my feelings.

    Thank you.

    | Posted on 2012-01-08 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
      what a tragic sounding piece, but i like that, i think it is beautiful in its tragedy, if that makes sense, and i can completely relate to it, since i've been in that same sorta situation, where i knew that no one could understand untill they felt what i did, anyway, i loved it and thought it was really well written, and im glad i got to read it thank you for sharing it with us, take care.~Joy
    | Posted on 2008-07-22 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      This is beautifully tragic. The sheer hopelessness and emptiness that you are able to capture in words is captivating. It touched a place in my soul that I have been going through lately...giving in to old habits, caught up in the hurt and anger - the kind of phase in life where all you want to do is listen to Linkin Park and hate what's happening in your life and the people that have deliberately, heartlessly and cold-bloodedly caused you pain. What I hate most is going through the motions around everyone every day acting like I'm fine.

    You can tell it's a stream-of-conscienceness thing...but I think that's the most pure, honest form of writing there is. You make it look effortless to write such a powerful piece that is so full of darkness and causes the reader to feel depths of despair. Poets that write and the reader feels, instead of just reads, are those I admire.

    "This too shall pass."

    Let's hope it's true. Deeply sad well written piece.

    | Posted on 2008-05-31 00:00:00 | by Seagirl | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]