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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Then She Said I Love Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: NoMartyr
    ASL Info:    18/M/Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    2.95 - 29/60/51
    Words: 241
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 108
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1702



    Description:
       Love song/poem, references to alchemy in there... simple. Hearing someone say "I Love You" makes me feel high, that's what it's about. Different, somehow, than my normal work.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThen She Said I Love Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We watched the sky part ways while clinging to the earth
    In the suns glare I swear we'd witnessed our rebirth
    Baptized in the drizzlin' rain
    She was overcame with a cold
    Just delirious? I don't know
    quite how this story goes

    Then she said "I love you"
    Then she said "I love you"
    "Was in denial, it's undeniable
    I'd try to describe it, but it's indescribable and..."
    Then she said "...I love you"
    Then she said "I love you"

    She has a book where all her secrets lie
    I watch her write in it but never look inside
    Until she set it before my eyes
    It said She'd be mine in the note
    In the book, in a fold
    She might as well turned lead to gold

    When she said "I love you"
    Then she said "I love you"
    "Was in denial, it's undeniable
    Try to describe it, it's indescribable and..."
    Then she said, "...I love you"
    Then she said...

    By some unseen power we
    watched the green lotus flowers
    as they were all blossoming
    And they started to sing
    for the revival of spring
    in praise for new beginnings

    Then she said "I love you"
    Then she said "I love you"
    "Was in denial, it's undeniable
    I'd try to describe it, but it's indescribable and..."
    Then she said "...I love you"
    She made the whole world melt when she said "I love you"




    Submitted on 2008-05-27 16:45:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow!

    i love the way this is written!

    and it's a good story!


    i would LOVE to hear is as a song, i think it would just be amazing

    one thing, though...

    "We watched the sky part ways while clinging to the earth
    In the suns glare I swear we'd witnessed our rebirth
    Baptized in the drizzlin' rain
    She was overcame with a cold
    Just delirious? I don't know
    quite how this story goes"


    line three should, i beleive, say "overcome"


    overcame just doesnt fit, it sounds wrong, as i believe it is


    other than that i think it's absolutely wonderful!


    if you turn it into a song i'd like to hear it, so if you get the chance to put it on youtube or something, be sure to let me know!


    muy bueno :]

    -Moz-
    | Posted on 2008-05-28 00:00:00 | by GoKart Mozart | [ Reply to This ]



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