Description: Yeah, i wrote this while I was getting dressed this morning.
Dedication: N.
If you could really critic it, it would be nice. I don't want comments saying "nicely written, i like the flow, blah, blah, blah." Thanks
When I Leave -------------------------------------------
When I look into your eyes
I get this feeling inside
That you are feeling me too.
But when you look in my eyes
You just can't realize
How I feel about you.
When I see you walking by
I stop and try to hide
The way you always make me feel.
But you don't realize
How I feel inside
How can this be real?
If you know that you want me
Then why don't you come and get me?
I am not going no where
I'm waiting for you to come here.
So stop your games and stop your playing
You really got me thinking
About who I'm leaving behind
Seems like I ran out of time
So my heart stays with you,
When I leave.
I don't know what to do
When I'm approached by you.
Inside I want to run.
As I long for your embrace.
Your hands caressing my face.
I give up, I am done.
When I see you walking by
I stop and try to hide
The way you always make me feel.
But you don't realize
How I feel inside
How can this be real?
If you know that you want me
Then why don't you come and get me?
I am not going no where
I'm waiting for you to come here.
So stop your games and stop your playing
You really got me thinking
About who I'm leaving behind
Seems like I ran out of time
So my heart stays with you,
When I leave.
'Cause I'm tired of waiting
and I'm tired of wishing
that you'd be with me.
I put my all in
Now my tears are falling
In the open for you to see.
But when I look into your eyes
You make me stop and hide
The way you always make me feel.
But you don't realize
How I feel inside
How can this be real?
If you know that you want me
Then why don't you come and get me?
I am not going no where
I'm waiting for you to come here.
So stop your games and stop your playing
You really got me thinking
About who I'm leaving behind
Seems like I ran out of time
So my heart stays with you,
When I leave.
One thing that kept me puzzling over about this was the line:
"So stop your games and stop your playing".
Somehow i feel you could try to make it to go more with the flow - it feels to me like it's throwing the verse out of order. Perhaps it could go somethin' like this:
"So stop your games
And please stop playing"
But it might be i totally misunderstood the line ;)
Otherwise it worked pretty well - even if i had to listen to few different melodies to get the what i think was "right" melody for it. ( Punk didn't seem to work :D )
Other advisement i would like to give is that when posting lyrics - it would be SO much easier for the "listeners" if one would put some notes where chorus starts and bridge and verses, like [Chorus] [Bridge] etc. Also would be nice to know in what type of voice you were planning on having it sang.
Anyways, very clear in whole and was a pleasure to read. Thank you.
Submission Name: When I Leave
