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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: There's Always Room for Jellodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 74
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 707
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 473



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThere's Always Room for Jellodots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm starting to acquire this really bad reputation as a 'good' teacher when I should be the curse; the challenge that focuses everything on one slim thought. Somehow, I'm too informative, not nearly brutal enough to sear the lessons like a brand into indifferent skin.

    Oh well, I suppose there's always hope that I can grow a mean streak before I'm canonized and average.

    Then again, hunger is an acquired taste.




    Submitted on 2008-05-28 23:21:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      What I don't like: The title. A cliché is fine to use, but to me this is nonsensical with the rest of the poem. The line menas that a person still has an appetite and can force down a few swallows of jello (a good tasting substance). I just don't get it - not to say you should change it.

    Also in L1, omit the word "really." It's not needed. Avoid words like "somehow." Words like this are wishy-washy. And I don't like the phrase "mean streak" because that is a semi-cliché.

    What I do like: The 1st line anchors the piece and captures my interest. You follow up quite well with explaining why you wish you were more brutal and the you also imply the value of being a hardass. You do this with the term 'brand into the skin.'

    The last line is also quite good. "Hunger is an acquired taste," is a striking close to the poem and is sensical.

    | Posted on 2008-06-21 00:00:00 | by tjsmith5 | [ Reply to This ]
      you obviously haven't been doing it long enough; you're not a jaded and battle-hardened cynic... yet, it seems.

    don't worry... that day will probably come, and then you'll be just like every other teacher: there to eat lunch and not give a flying fark about the kids.

    or... hopefully not.
    hopefully, you'll keep that spark and always pass it on, inspiring these rabid youngsters onto paths of literate glory... eh?

    *prods*
    *throws jelly in your face*

    in your face, mr. in your face.
    *runs off before i get detention*
    | Posted on 2008-06-21 00:00:00 | by discombobulated | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, Bill your piece does shed a tinge of irony or at least that’s what I feel. I'm not sure if this is as literal as it sounds but from a teacher's perspective I must say that I completely relate to it especially when you bring out "indifferent skin" It's such a colossal challenge to make them care particularly when one's dealing with people who lack their basic needs or have some sort of emotional problem and take it out on us. I guess that experience makes the master, or at least that's what some people say.

    Additionally, as strangely as it might sound, the last line of your write, calls to mind "Rita" from "Educating Rita" I don't know why ...maybe on account of the idea of your being allegedly drawing a parallel between hunger and a yearning for knowledge, to put it that way.


    That's about it!


    With admiration and respect,


    Ethan
    | Posted on 2008-06-13 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]
      Nurturing is a tough skill these days...especially when the students resist nurture with all the power they possess. That's when instructors in every field become magicians so the students have no idea they've learned something important or been challenged to think deeply until after the fact.

    BTW, the hunger I refered to is for something more than a grade, it's learning/understanding for its own sake. That kind of acquisition is priceless.
    | Posted on 2008-06-09 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Bill,

    Your title interested me, so I thought I'd give it a look and what I found was not quite what I expected...but in a good way.
    I liked the reluctant hero type you're trying to portray, reminds me of Monty Python's 'Life of Brian,' an average person trying to be average but unable to fight the public's hysteria of finding 'something.'

    'brand into indifferent skin,' is this a comment on consumerism? How we brand ourselves from head to toe and still, am left numb by it all. I think this would fit with your title, in that like a greedy child, we eat and eat until bursting and still find room for more, just because it's there...just because it's something we don't have yet.

    'hunger is an acquired taste.'
    What is it we hunger for? Knowledge? Love? Life? All the big ones...and probably all the little in-between ones as well. But when we want these, do we really hunger for them...because to hunger for something is to be without, to feel pain for not having it. So then, would people choose to hunger for something or just desire it...I'm not sure. Perhaps, your narrator knows and that's why he rejects his 'good' teacher title.

    Anyway, I don't know if this is making sense, just letting you into myriad of thoughts that hit me when I read this.

    Hope you find something useful in all this,

    Jo.
    | Posted on 2008-05-29 00:00:00 | by JoKing | [ Reply to This ]
      what do you teach? i think jase told my your crazy, interesting life story, but side from it being crazy and interesting, i can't say i remember the details...



    i always liked the bitter, tough teachers the best. maye it's because they had the least problem breaking rules and swearing. they tended to be the funniest, too... but i'm all for cynicism. not typical high school humor, i suppose.

    and of course, there's the whole learning thing. what a drag -sigh-

    i like your title. makes me think of how where i work, everyone waits with bated breath for jell-o day, and when we run out, the old people in walkers and waytoofast motorised scooters throw fits.

    what can i say? geriatrics love their jell-o...






    i hope you become ornery and disliked by the masses, but loved on a more important level by the ones that really want your knowledge.





    ...or you could just be popular. that would be okay too :)
    | Posted on 2008-05-29 00:00:00 | by sadtrapofgravit | [ Reply to This ]


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