[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Just to have youdots

    Author: koolness
    ASL Info:    17/female/city of evil
    Elite Ratio:    2.58 - 80/106/56
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 678
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 346


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJust to have youdots

    I close my eyes wishing to see your face,
    wanting your lips, so that I can taste
    I hold my breath, thinking of you,
    hoping you feel that same way I do.
    Wanting you close wanting you near,
    wanting you so bad that I fear.
    Just to have you in my arms is all I ask,
    knowing our love will forever last.

    Submitted on 2008-05-29 14:40:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "Juat" second to last line, "Just", a bit saccharin sweet, "wanting you so bad that I fear." ??? Fear what, and how will you combat said fear? Think on it, I'm sure it'll come to ya.
    | Posted on 2008-05-30 00:00:00 | by caveman | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    True Death written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Every..... written by jackz
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Linger written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Bond written by saartha
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Push written by JanePlane
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]